Wednesday, February 06, 2008, Wednesday, February 06, 2008
2008 thus far (Career)
How has 2008 been panning out for myself thus far for my career?
Well, settling into the new job isn't easy; having to rebuild many things such as new working relationships, establishment of your working reputation, handling colleagues' expectations of yourself, handling my own expectations of my colleagues; well it has been difficult; to be honest. Reason being, it is difficult to truly find an environment where I can grow and be myself at work. I didn't set out on day 1 to find a replica of the prev bank environment I used to enjoy so much for the past 1 yr plus but even so, I was quite taken aback by the nature of work, tremendous workload increase and some difficult colleagues.
Gone are the days of where people are accomodating towards me as I was a newbie in the banking industry and now people have EXPECTATIONS of me and expect me to deliver. Well, all I have to say is that it isn't quite the same as what I would have hoped it will be. People are still nice, but not always. People can still help but often they expect you to also contribute while being helped. I still very much miss my previous environment and I wouldn't have left them if they offered me a permanent position the very least to say. But then, this is life isn't it?
Of course, I am conscious of the fact that I can be sucked into a victim mindset; blame everyone around me except for myself and because of being consicous of my possible fallout, I am taking responsibility for learning everything I can in this new environment and trying to know each new colleague the best I could. However, I am still not feeling it. After 3 months.
However, I know I have to move on eventually.
The helpdesk environment is one that is shouldering the sheer quantity of customer's requests, problems, issues and of course processing forms. Well, it would be an eye opener if you are doing it for a week or so; but to do it for 3 months daily, it can be quite draining. I miss meeting customers, going out for appointments, dressing up for important functions and well you can say that I am so surfacial but beneath all that, i missed customer interaction and having the independence to arrange my time.
Sigh.
The only reason why I kept going till today is because of God's peace in me that I felt when I prayed prior to joining the bank earlier. And although I really distest the workload that I am handling and not to mention ONE DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE that is such a pain in my neck, I will continue to persist. At least for a year.
I am sorry that this post is quite negative but I am just trying to voice out my feelings here. However, just like how I tell Dearie, I will persist because I believe that at the end of the journey, God will be there for me and I will see the purpose of going through all this right now.
Right now, I am going to take one step; one day; one week at a time; to do my best in my workplace and truly shine for God. It's not easy but it's worth an effort to try at least.
At least, when I am the head of department in future, I can then say that I have been there and done the helpdesk role before. Haha!
Dear, thank you so much for always standing by me the past few months. Sometimes, it is not eays for yourself but you CHOSE to believe together with me that God will make all things beautiful in His time!. I love you darling baby honey dear dear lil crabbie!!!..muacks!!!!
Okies, got to go now...till next time, cya and take care!