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Wednesday, June 21, 2006, Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Post No 123
Incidentally, just like the title implies "Post No 123", this blog post is one of the clearest; if not the clearest in terms of mind thoughts that I've ever blogged so sit back and enjoy reading it. :)
I bought "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris from Borders yesterday after hearing so much from my friends about how great the book is and after much deliberation, i picked it up and read the 1st chapter when I got home. Personally, I felt that I could relate well to Joshua's life story because I went through similar experiences like he did and one of the struggles that I faced in my life is in the area of trusting God for the very relationship that He had prepared for me to enter in my life. As I examined myself and the various areas of my life, I found out that I don't have much problem trusting God in the areas of finance, health, favour of men, annoiting and my career but just this one area; relationships. Yes, the big 'R' in many people's lives that could either bring a smile to their face or a frown.
For so many times, i relied on my own strength in this area and time after time; i failed miserably. Ironically, though I always come back to God in prayer after each failing, I never failed to realised that actually the one person that needs to change is myself! The way I prayed, the way i assume or presume, the way I look at friendships and sisters in church; these all had to be changed! How can God ever answer my prayers when I have already pre-determined in my heart WHO WILL BE THE SPECIAL ONE?. How many more times must I fail before I realised my mistakes?
Joshua Harris said "When I stopped worrying about who i am going to marry and started to trust in God's timing, i undiscovered a tremendous potential I have to serve God as an individual" This statement alone convicted me and blew me away totally. What if I was meant to be a BV and serve God as a choir ic, would I be shortchanging God and His people of all the things I could do to serve them? How then would I be able to answer to God when I meet Him eventually? These thoughts streamed into my mind profusely.
Physically and mentally, yes i am ready to plan for marriage. Spiritually and financially, i am in the midst of getting ready. In fact, I've shortlisted the locations that I planned to hold my wedding dinner and just like what one of my friends said "glenn, if only my boyfriend was as prepared as you."
Now, I will pray and wait for God. For His word says "Be anxious for nothing, but everything through prayer and supplication, let it be provided to you."
God, I put my total trust in you for a wife.
me
