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Monday, December 19, 2005, Monday, December 19, 2005
Impressions.
Sometimes i wonder to myself; why can't God just erase our memories especially the not so good ones and those which stink away from our minds? Why can't i flip on a switch in me to auto format all the memories of which i once cherished and treasured. Why do these memories come back to my mind from time to time? In fact, almost every single day. Why?
Why do I always make comparisions to the past as compared to the present? Why do I always seem to reminisce of the past more than cherishing the present?
The answer is very simple my friends; because we have a carnal nature (the old man) inside of us.
Salvation is not a one time process. Its not a one click on the 'Auto Format' button to erase all of our memories, past sins away. Salvation rather, is a daily renewing of our minds. The daily decision we ALL have to make to walk away from Egypt and towards the Promised Land. No gurantees that you will reach the Promised Land, but all we can do is to keep walking. No buses, MRTs or taxis to flag along the way. Just walk and keep walking. As we serve daily in God's kingdom, it could be liken to the journey we have to make by foot away from Egypt. Sometimes it could be demanding, stretching and tiring, but as long as we keep sight of the final goal in us; that is to finish the race of faith. We will eventually finish it.
These past 2 - 3 weeks, i have been totally stretched mentally and emotionally. My parents, brother and sister went overseas, leaving a whole house to me. Besides the daily chores which i have no problem doing, the feeling hits when its night-time and i am all alone at home. Romantic u might think but its really quite torturing sometimes. With my exam coming this thursday, things couldn't have gotten any stressful for me. So much so that during service last week, i wept during service because i felt that i had come to the end of myself yet again.
The end of my strength
The end of my intellect
The end of my emotional bank
The end of Glenn physically
One thing i do remember is that i told myself, no matter what happens, i am NOT going to stop serving God and His kingdom. I am going to press in and serve and serve, LOVE GOD and love Him more, be in His presence every single moment of my life. I realised how foolish i was in the past, when i regarded a relationship more important than God himself, how immature i was when i opted to do certain things rather than serve in the house of God. I realised and my eyes opened. To the un-thinkable side of people who i once cherished and treasured.
How much things have changed.
As i continue to grow and mature spirtually, i mustn't be rigid and stubborn, insisting on methods and ways to do things, to live my life just because they proved to be successful. Change is the only constant in life, and God is behind all the changes we encounter daily. Isn't it? Rather be like a sheep, led by the sherperd to the greener pastures of life and to the rivers of living water.
A Goat eats anything, including rubbish and vomit. A Sheep only eats grass.
In comparision, the food a goat eats can be said as READILY avaliable. But the food a sheep eats ie grass can only be avaliable when their sherperd brings them to a mountain slope of green pastures. The Bible says the way to Hell is broad and wide while the passage to Heaven is narrow and tough.
Which one do you want to follow? Are you willing to wait for God to lead you?
As i prepare to end 2005 in a week's time, there're many things in my life which i still don't know yet. Many things in my life which are still pending. Many things in my life in which i am waiting upon God to give me the green light. Even if at the end of the day, certain things don't work out in my life, God is still good!
Isa 30:18 "Blessed are those who wait for the Lord"
I must be patient and wait for the Lord. So do you.
me
