Polaroid = Photo Gallery
Film = Video Gallery
Cassette = Music
to navigate.
,306
Sunday, October 23, 2005, Sunday, October 23, 2005
Past and Present
Everyone had a past and has a present.
No one could ever reach the present without going through the past.
No one could ever reach today without living through yesterday.
Simple sentences but how true is it right now in my life.
The past 1 week had been productive, fruitful although busy and tiring. Both in school and work as well as serving in church. With my new found time, i kept myself busy, doing my projects, going for choir practices, overnight prayer meetings, cell group meetings as well as planning for some future cell group activities. To say that i don't miss what i used to do is equals to lying to myself because well, sometimes when its night-time and when i'm in my room, just reading the daily devotion, i do recall what i used to do in the past in the evenings. The places i used to go with the special someone and conversations we used to have and the laughter we used to have.
Well, but at the same time, i realised that without letting go of the past, God cannot do new things in our lives. Without letting go and let God, i simply cannot handle the situation myself. I know you feel the same too. After all, those were the sweetest of memories i would ever have in my entire life and would always bring back the smile to my face when i think of them. As for the gifts, cards and photos, well they're still intact in my room.
Everything looks just about the same, but we both know it isn't anymore.
To hear from a friend about what you've been doing seems weird, but its the reality that i've to learn to embrace.
To go to places we used to frequent, to simply pass by those places would always bring back memories. Maybe after these few weeks, we might meet. Maybe not. We no longer are commited to meet one another anymore.
I tried hard to distract myself and keep myself busy and focused on doing the things i should be doing and so far, i am doing fine..i hope you are too. Helping out in cell and singing for choir week in and out, during opm does help to bring me closer to God. I love that feeling. I would never want to trade that feeling; His presence for anything else in my life.
Thinking back, i missed those days where i would nag at you to rest early, sleep well and tight. The phone conversations that we would have, although not long but v memorable right now. Priceless in fact.
The irony is despite we're living so close to one another but it feels like we are on 2 different planets or galaxies. The truth of the matter is; i've never loved someone so much before in my entire 23 years of existence ever.
I missed the times where i can hug you ever so tightly in my arms, give you a peck on the forehead and kiss you goodnight. I missed those times where we would drive out late into the night just to buy soya bean drink and go for a spin. I missed those times where you would pester me to go and drive the car out.
Everything in my life now seems so new, i thank God for friends who have been there for me all these while but i am still trying to grasp hold of things right now. Well, it does take time isn't it? For all these memories to stop surging back into my mind.
You're very special to me. Because you brought light, laugther, companionship into my life. In which i am trying to fill it up now. The reason why i am writing all these is because this is the only form of contact i can have now; to express it in words and hopefully you'll get to read it.
Someone once told me; crying is the best way to let things out. I no longer cry as much as i do in the past, but i still feel the miss, the loss. Its like i am sacrificing my precious Issac unto the Lord.
Well, eventually both of us will move on with life and continue to serve God more and love Him even more in our lives.
Both of us would live out His destinies for us and His will for our lives.
Just want to say; i miss you.
me
