Tuesday, June 07, 2005, Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Disappointed
i am truly disappointed..not with people around me..but with myself..very disappointed in fact..i've always been like that..set out targets to do and to acheive but always ending up falling short and not accomplisging what i've set out to do...
WHATS THE MATTER WITH ME?
last night, i wanted to do so many things...finish up the flash website which has been bugging me for the past 1 week...go Jogging for goodness sake which i've been procastinating for so long and thus being so flabby and unfit right now...and do up the tutorials and assignments for my own projects!...the list just goes on and on and on..just don't understand why am i always feeling so sleepy when it reaches 11.30pm at night...i hate this feeling...i hate the feeling of wasting time...of doing things i don't like..of doing things in a certain way that i detest..sub standard..sub average..to me, thats sub-normal..
being to hard to myself?..i seriously do not think so u know...i am my harshest critic...so many things i disapprove of myself...not being fit enough, not being able to speak as fluently as i could..not being able to treat and love the friends around me more..not being patient enough with certain matters...God, pls save and help a wretch like me...
i don't like to waste time..there is so many things for me to do...so many people for me to care for...so many things i've not done yet...so many areas of my life where its not perfect yet..
i am truly frustrated and angry with myself...but i know that unless i come to terms with what is inside of me, grasp an understanding of it, submit it under the power of the Most High God..i will never change.
"We were born to succeed, not to fail"
Mr Henry David Thomas (Essayist, Poet, Philosopher)
1817 - 1862