glenn. an identity with Christ.

Valentine's Day @->-- Wild Rocket!

2009-02-18T14:41:00.002+08:00

What an AWESOME valentine's day we had!

It started off in the morning and I was up and running; preparing my X-LARGE card, deciding what to wear for this very special occasion whilst reading the newspapers and eating my breakfast! Haha! Talk about multitasking! Once everything was prepared, I then set off for my first destination; the florist! Armed with my bag slinging on my shoulder and walking along the pavement, basking in the sunlight but yet comforted by the soothing breeze, I made my way to the bus stop and low and behold; the bus arrived shortly!!!

Upon reaching the florist, I was amazed by the no of people who have ordered a bouquet or bouquets of flowers from them as there was a LOOOONNNGG QUEUE! HAHA! People of all ages; or rather should I say men of all ages collecting flowers from the counter staff who looked rather bemused by the huge turn out; there was certaintly no pinch felt in the pocket in many including myself as we shell out our pay cheques to purchase the MOST BEAUTIFUL BOUQUET for our partners! As for myself, I purchased the most beautiful bouquet thus far in my entire life; second only to the Proposal bouquet because that one cannot be compared! But this one is named the aqua bouquet which basically has a bag of water warpped underneath so that the flowers are able to survive longer and the best part was THE EXCELLENCE THAT WAS PUT INTO creating this product.

Awesome. Even today I still think it is awesome. Sometimes, an awesome attitude just amazes you for a few days!

After collecting the flowers, I carried to stage 2 of the plan which is to surprise my darling by setting up her room with my uniquely thoughout creations! hahaha....well, my main and only intention was to really make her feel loved and blessed because she is God's gift to me! So a lot of thought placed into the entire process. :) When Dear dear was ushered into her room by me..hahaha..she was moved to tears by what she saw and I am sure it is not just the physical arrangement but the intangibles such as the thought put into the planning and my efforts. But at this point of time, I want to give all glory to God because without HIM, we won't be believers in the same church in the first place, let alone being together forever! PRAISE GOD!

GOD is truly so amazing I tell you...sometimes we don't see His hand and we panicked; calling out His name and praying through and being faithful but God is and will always be the most faithful of all because He never gave up on us even when we are rebellious in our thoughts, actions, words, deeds and attitude!

He is great because He is the only God in all religions globally that says "I love you; and because I love you; I send my only begotten son to die for your sins!" Who else ever said that? All I knew while growing up was to be afraid of gods because they would be angry if I didn't do this or that or meet a requirement but it wasn't the case with Abba GOD!

Truly awesome, Truly Amazed. Thoroughly Convicted.

In the evening, after watching the movie "Chasing a star" starring Andy Lau and Shu Qi which itself was quite a great show and I cannot believe that Andy Lau still looks so young! Really, i mean even if you factor in the possible articifical substances that were used but I firmly believe that it's because he worked out and kept fit! That kept me thinking! I want to be as fit as I can while passing thorough the decades of my life...20, 30, 40, 50, 60..... :)

What more can an evening end by having dinner at the gorgeous scenic and sumptously gratifying WILD ROCKET!!!

Wow wow wow..i tell you..my first impression of this place...doesn't look like typical downtown singapore at all! Resided on Mount Emily, this restaurant external settings seems like a town or scene taken off the coastal areas of France! Accompanied by the setting sun and cool breeze, we arrived in our ahem..toyota crown...ok now it can't be france..so why not...japan? hee...we went into the restaurant and wow wow wow! limited seating arrangements means increased exclusivity and it means thicker romance in the atmosphere! :)

So awesome! The service of the staff was good although it could have been prompter. BUT this single negative experience cannot negate the many positives that WE DERIVED FROM IT! Nice ambience, good food, watching sun set, un-singaporean feel...wonderful and fulfilling dinner!

We both gave it 8 stars out of 10! Only losing to Jiang Nan Chun; a cantonese restaurant!!

Truly God is the first valentine and I just want to tell myself; to love dear always and every single day to the best of my ability; as much as how God loves me. Dear, thank you very much for putting in the effort in making the wonderful and amazing card for me and I really like it very much because it's a tangible representation of your love to me!!!!!! Yay!

Unconditional love. Unlimited blessings.

Truly God is LOVE-PERSONIFIED and I thank God for my lovely dearie darling! Muacks dear!

Let's make everyday a valentine day shall we my dear? :)

What a year it has been.

2008-12-23T14:00:00.003+08:00

If there is one thing I've learnt this year, it will be loving and treasuring the people who matter the most to me because in the midst of all uncertainty and distress, these are the individuals who stood by me; believed in me; prayed for me; encouraged me; blessed me even when I had nothing to offer them back in return. People like my darling, my parents, my brother and sisters, my grandmother and close friends all played a part in helping me to stand up again, to believe in myself and God that He is the ultimate provider, healer, comforter, blesser to all who believes; no matter what the circumstance is!

GOD has been ever-present in my life for the past few years since I became a Christian but He has poured forth so much in my life this year that sometimes I can just relax and soak in His presence, knowing that all of my worries, cares, troubles can all be placed in His hands and it will be taken care of. He has totally melted my heart; once mortified by pride, sin, rebellion raging on the inside. But everything He comes and touches my heart, it is as though He is saying "Glenn, don't worry, I am here for you always and forever. Even when you don't see my hand in a situation. I am still here." To hear or feel His presence daily has become such an attraction for me personally because in Him, I can be strong again; i can stand up again; i can smile again; i can have hope for tommorow again.

You know something? To be a Christian doesn't mean having to become a weakling and to be bullied by the people around you. It just means you have the ultimate source of strength, grace, peace, hope, joy, love to draw from whenever you have already done your best, tried your best but still fall short because no one is perfect and I've learnt that whenever I tried to put up a strong front in the past; but on the inside of me, I am crumbling, I am crushed because I always thought that I am the source of my own strength.

But I can't be further again from the truth. Because Jesus saved me and He will continue saving me in every situation and His thoughts are always good towards me.

Maybe I am sentimental, emotional for a guy but no one can deny His presence when you feel it, you know its Him.

2008 has been such an awesome year for me because apart of Jesus, God blessed me with my partner; my darling, the love of my life, one whom i can be myself in front, one whom i don't need to pretend, one who accepts me for who i am every day, one who loves me for who i am now, one who just cheerfully blesses, withholds nothing but always seeking to bless. Yes, it is you dear and thank you very much for always being here for me, always stretching forth your hand to help and encourage me whenever i am down, always cheering me on!

You're simply the best to me and I will never forget how we prayed through during the initial stages of our relationship; how we fasted; how we loved and stood alongside each other even during the times we faced trials and tribulations. I prayed for a partner, a wife whom understands what I needed, a partner whom i can confide and rely on because she will be the best person God has placed in my life. Through the past 17 months, I've been totally blown away by your love, your strength, your un-wavering belief in God throughout your circumstances and how you always know that God is the author and finisher of your faith and walk in Him.

I am blessed this year not just because of the pay increments I recieved, not just because of the fact we managed to successfully ballot for our desired flat in boon keng, not just because of all other things but simply because I am loved and I am blessed to be able to love such an awesome person like you because you are the love of my life. I am blessed because I have an awesome family who believes in me; parents who gave unselfishly to my education, sowing into my life for the past 20 years, siblings who always flashed a smile to me even during the most difficult of times and grandparents who always dispense words of wisdom towards me.

Sometimes although they might not show it but they will always be there, an out-stretched hand, ever ready to assist whenever I am looking for help. It's God blessing that I am born into my family because I cannot ask for a better family environment to grow up in.

As I looked back this year, I thank God for always being with me every single day of my life, every single step I took and He has never left me nor forsaken me because He is always present, always ready to bless and answer when i call out to Him and as I am listening to the song "Light of the City", the God I know is one who loves, says I love you to the entire human race, the only one who died so that we can live for eternity.

I am truly blessed. Inside and outside. Material and in-material. Tangible and Intangible. Through and through.

8 more days to the end of the year. A brand new year beckons. New challenges will come, new issues to deal with and overcome, but I am quietly confident that God will be the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

May God bless you and answer the desires of your heart!

Giving and Loving

2008-10-21T08:48:00.004+08:00

Loving and Giving always goes together in a set; because when you love someone, you seek to give or bless that person with what you've in your hands. It could be time, finances, love, words of affirmation, a simple "how are you?". Throughout the past 3 months of not blogging, I've been sharing my thoughts with dearie, my mum sometimes whenever she fetches me out in the morning. :) However, as the year is drawing to a close, one of the things that I would like to start doing it again is to blog regularly!.

5 days ago, dear and myself celebrated our 14th month anniversary together at the yummylicious grapevine!. Well, my darling is truly a blessing and angel sent from God to my life because I am mightily blessed throughout these past 14 months of being with her! However, not forgetting that we were both very different individuals when we first came together, it was His love that gelled us together, enabled us to go through difficult and uncomfortable situations where self-sacrifice on either side has to be made. God will always be our source now and forever!.

God tells us that He love us so much that He sent Jesus to die for our sins and transgressions. Isn't that such a true reflection of Giving and Loving? Many religions claim to love but they only seek to take from the worshippers themselves. Well, whenever I am tired or burdened, I will always remind myself of the various memorial stones in my life; one being which I was totally healed of this illness that almost took my life away.

Indeed, God loves and He give everyday!.

It is about 8 more weeks before this year draws to a close and as I looked back on what has happened, every single incident happened for a reason and I am very happy and blessed because God always ends every situation on a good note!. As such, I want to keep on praying for dear, my family and myself that we will always be in good health, prospering emotionally, financially, happy and blessed every single day! And one thing I know, that as I keep praying and loving and giving, 2009 will be a year of breakthrough upon breakthrough for us!!!.

I can't wait for Christmas, my birthday because I know that dear is going to do such an awesome work of planning everything!!! :) Dear, i love you!!!!! :)

Let's all continue to love by giving and give by loving! Have an awesome week ahead my friends!

The past 1 month.

2008-07-21T13:30:00.004+08:00

Hi friends,

how time flies past so quickly that we seldom even realised it? As I am preparing myself to write a blog entry today, I realised that the last time I blogged was 1 month ago! Exactly! Haha...sorry for not blogging as often as in the past..but in the next 1 month, I should have more time to blog about my thoughts, my happenings and my experiences! :)

Life is a journey and along the journey; consists of many pit stops. Some planned. Some unplanned.

In the past 1 month, I have (in chronological order):

- Started a new job

- Attended a friend's wedding

- Prayed for mum

- Started jogging and going to the gym

- Continued to pray and seek God daily

- Attended company's D & D with dear dear!

- Celebrated darling's birthday! Yipee!

God is really awesome and as I was taking a walk to the nearby research institute near my workplace earlier, I reflected on what Pst Tan shared yesterday and as I reflect, God's values reflected back on me like a mirror; showing me what I could have done better; how could I have lived my life in a more fruitful way in the past 1 month. Pst shared about the easy way and the hard way; and although it seems like basic Christian teachings at surface level, it is this core discipline in our lives that will determine whether we live a A grade, B grade, C grade or Pass grade life.

Without being hard on ourselves, this discipline to walk the narrow, Godly, spiritual way is a discipline to be nurtured, cultivated and developed in God's presence and only God's presence. The other lifestyle components in our lives; such as shopping, driving, jogging are good but I feel that these are the add-ons (icing on the cake) that would only make a cake look and taste better isn't it? There is no point if a guy is fit, knows how to wear his clothes, drives a beemer but his attitude is crude, rude, unruly and impatient.

For myself, I am certaintly not perfect and I am sure that my loved ones will tell you that! But, as I constantly reflect on how I can adjust my life to a better son, boyfriend, colleague, worker to my loved ones and my colleagues.

I realised that so long as I keep turning one stone at a time per day, I would have turned 365 stones in a year and that would have meant 365 positive changes!

In the past, I have always concerned only about the external; how I look, how I behaved but neglecting my thought process and not putting in enough effort to pray, seek God, dwell in His presence so that my thought process can also be renewed and changed every single day!.

A simple interpretation of "narrow" would be a reduction in overall width or width of space to manourvere in.

As such, when I choose to walk the narrow way daily, it would mean that I need to 1) sacrifice 2) avail myself even if it's inconvenient 3) pray when I least feel like praying.

However, I have learnt in the past few months, the more I do what I don't feel like doing, the better my life becomes! :)

Yesterday was AWESOME! I celebrated dearie's birthday at Rakuzen ( a jap restaurant at Millenia Walk) and the food was value for money! Haha...a place w/o crowding people, noisy conversations and GOOD FOOD! Heee...I am very happy that I chose the right place and dear dear was BLESSED by the treat AND my card!! Dear, I just want to tell you that I am looking forward to better plan and celebrate your every birthday with you year in year out and no 2 years will ever be the same darling laopor!! Hahaa...dear dear, you are very very precious to me and I love you forever till ETERNITY!!!~~ Hug you tight tight and sayang you darling baby!! Muackieooosss dearie darling! :)

The past 1 month has truly been awesome; but I am not going to rest on my laurels. I will continue to press in; to be a better son, a better boyfriend and leader to dearie darling and a better worker in office! :)

Take care people! Ciao! :)

I am ALIVE!

2008-06-21T11:34:00.002+08:00

Hi friends!

After my last post on Feb 8, which is a good 4 months ago! I never felt the desire to write anymore because so many things happened in my life and my only focus back then was to get back in my walk with God; fellowship with Him and tarrying in His presence! Now, the old has passed away and the new has come!

Revived Walk with God; feeling His refreshing presence daily!
New Career with additional pay increment and a more relaxed working env!
Meaningful and Fruitful relationships with my dear dear and my family!
Finding back my purpose in life!

God is so real in my life; and the lesson that I've learnt is: our walk with God is paramount in a Christian's life; just like how you need to drink water and breathe every single moment. Without God, the simplest of task becomes burdensome, dry, hard-going and unfulfilling. However, with God, the hardest of projects becomes manageable, do-able, makes the person more focused on pleasing God with his spirit of excellence in doing the project; rather than pleasing man with his silly antics.

What is my REAL Value in life? Is it determined by my salary package, my material possessions, my career path, my Return on Investments? Though these are important, my real value in life is determined by my attitude towards Jesus and doing my best to live a Christ-filled life! To love people who hate you; to bless those who curse you; to be the best Christian I can be; in terms of my attitude in my giving, serving others towards my loved ones, at home and at work!

Yes it can be quite difficult to do that; but at least we can try to do that every single day right? I realised this because back then when I was working in a corporate banking environment, I was so caught up with status, titles, pay packages, people's impressions of me and the worst of all, office politics. Having thought that I am seasoned in all the above mentioned, I then naively moved into my next job in the banking world; "elevated" myself and found myself crashing down after 20 weeks!

The following 2 months after that; was a simply humbling experience as I was brought back to my starting line, to get right my relationship with God back on the right track, to do my daily routine of peering through "Recruit" sections of the newspapers and sending out job applications. The process indeed seemed endless at that point of time. Layer by layer, God peeled away the exterior pride and interior rebellion spirit I had towards Him; as I prayed and lingered in His presence, I cried and wept; confessing all of my wrong decisions and acknowledging how wrong I had been in sorting out my life's priorities.

GOD is indeed awesome and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts! Always. For Eternal. Soon after days of job applications online, I went for many interviews and I made it a point to pray before each interview; for His peace, wisdom, favour of man, presence and for the Holy Spirit to guide me to discern whether was that job suitable for me. GOD is really AWESOME! He closed a couple of doors on jobs that He knew it wasn't suitable for me and ultimately blessed me with my present job; with an additional increment on top of what I was drawing in my previous job! Praise the Lord! :)

After 2 weeks of being on the job, I am still praying daily and taking one day at a time; to do my best not just to impress my boss, but to do it as though I am doing it unto God; who is my ultimate CEO, my best friend, my lord and king!

I want to enjoy every single day of walking right with God, to love the people who are dearest to me like how God loves me and to be able to a blessing to my dear dear, my family, my friends!. God had never given up on me throughout this period of time; since day01 when I gave my heart to Him and because of His faithfulness, my life is changing for the better!

Throughout this period of time, I would also want to thank GOD, my lovely darling, my parents, my siblings and my friends like Hee Guan, Ryan, Elisha, Max, Zief, Ian and many others for your constant encouragement, prayers, care and concern rendered towards me!

God, thank you for giving me Your Son, Jesus who died for my sins 2000 years ago so that I can have eternal life. Thank you for always blessing me, loving me, interceding for me, lending Your ears to hear, protecting me and my loved ones AND thank you for being my best friend, my King and my Lord!. You are simple awesome and I want to walk closer with you every single day; to love You more and to walk in Your will for my life!

Dear dear, thank you very much for always standing by me; through thick and think literally throughout the past 2 months. Thank you for being so understanding towards me and always blessing me with words of encouragement, gifts such as the Mizuno running shoes, your quality time spent together and your LOVE and PRAYERS to me. I have seen a new dimension of "LOVE" and it is not the love that I've seen ever before. But one that is self sacrificing, constant giving and eternal blessing! I thank God for sending you into my life and as we continue to grow and mature in Christ and in this relationship, lets continue to draw close to God and because of His love for us, lets love each other and our loved ones more hao ma dearie baby?

Dad and Mum, thank you for constantly believing in me; encouraging me and blessing me financially throughout the past 2 months! No one is perfect; and I've never set out to find a pair of perfect parents; but I've found you guys and you have been simple A-W-E-S-O-M-E!. Thank you for raising me up; providing for me despite the difficulties that you faced in your business but yet; you all never failed to continue supporting and loving this family!

I hope that I can be able to bless you more in the years to come; to be a fillal son and one that you can be proud of!

Bro and Sister(s), thank you very much for always encouraging me in different ways and being sucha awesome sibling through my entire life! Actually, we are very close because we have not experienced sibling rivarly before and I would NOT want to experience that either! Haha..I want to continue to learn on how to be a better brother; to pray for your needs; and to continue to bless in all that I can; from buying ham and cheese bread to maybe being able to bless you with more in the future!

Ah ma, I know you might never get to read this post, but YOU ARE SIMPLY THE BEST AH MA to me!... :)

As I stand on the threshold of the next 6 months of 2008, many thoughts of future plans linger in my mind and while planning for the future is important, how can tommorow be better if your today isn't impacted and changed by God's refreshing peace and presence!. I want to take 1 day at a time, to continually do my best to rely on God's strength, to pray, to be led by the Holy Spirit, to love, to give cheerfully and ultimately to be a blessing to all! I am not there yet and I am still learning; day to day.

Let's continue to be ALIVE in His presence and not lie dead in sins.

God bless you! Take care!

2008 thus far (Career)

2008-02-06T16:31:00.000+08:00

How has 2008 been panning out for myself thus far for my career?

Well, settling into the new job isn't easy; having to rebuild many things such as new working relationships, establishment of your working reputation, handling colleagues' expectations of yourself, handling my own expectations of my colleagues; well it has been difficult; to be honest. Reason being, it is difficult to truly find an environment where I can grow and be myself at work. I didn't set out on day 1 to find a replica of the prev bank environment I used to enjoy so much for the past 1 yr plus but even so, I was quite taken aback by the nature of work, tremendous workload increase and some difficult colleagues.

Gone are the days of where people are accomodating towards me as I was a newbie in the banking industry and now people have EXPECTATIONS of me and expect me to deliver. Well, all I have to say is that it isn't quite the same as what I would have hoped it will be. People are still nice, but not always. People can still help but often they expect you to also contribute while being helped. I still very much miss my previous environment and I wouldn't have left them if they offered me a permanent position the very least to say. But then, this is life isn't it?

Of course, I am conscious of the fact that I can be sucked into a victim mindset; blame everyone around me except for myself and because of being consicous of my possible fallout, I am taking responsibility for learning everything I can in this new environment and trying to know each new colleague the best I could. However, I am still not feeling it. After 3 months.

However, I know I have to move on eventually.

The helpdesk environment is one that is shouldering the sheer quantity of customer's requests, problems, issues and of course processing forms. Well, it would be an eye opener if you are doing it for a week or so; but to do it for 3 months daily, it can be quite draining. I miss meeting customers, going out for appointments, dressing up for important functions and well you can say that I am so surfacial but beneath all that, i missed customer interaction and having the independence to arrange my time.

Sigh.

The only reason why I kept going till today is because of God's peace in me that I felt when I prayed prior to joining the bank earlier. And although I really distest the workload that I am handling and not to mention ONE DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE that is such a pain in my neck, I will continue to persist. At least for a year.

I am sorry that this post is quite negative but I am just trying to voice out my feelings here. However, just like how I tell Dearie, I will persist because I believe that at the end of the journey, God will be there for me and I will see the purpose of going through all this right now.

Right now, I am going to take one step; one day; one week at a time; to do my best in my workplace and truly shine for God. It's not easy but it's worth an effort to try at least.

At least, when I am the head of department in future, I can then say that I have been there and done the helpdesk role before. Haha!

Dear, thank you so much for always standing by me the past few months. Sometimes, it is not eays for yourself but you CHOSE to believe together with me that God will make all things beautiful in His time!. I love you darling baby honey dear dear lil crabbie!!!..muacks!!!!

Okies, got to go now...till next time, cya and take care!

Love Pictorial Series (Dear and Darling!!)

2008-02-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

"Brewing Love over Coffee"

"Match made in Heaven. Darling and Dear!"

"Our Favourite Chipmunky - THEODORE!!"

"Looking all fresh and prepped up!!. With Darling at her sis's Grad Ceremony!"

"Giving DEAR the Vitamin K before our flight to Melbourne!"

Bye 07, Hi 08

2007-12-31T12:41:00.000+08:00

Hi People!

Been a v v long time since I blogged and I am so sorry bout it...I would want to get back into the habit of blogging daily or at least a few times a week if I could in 2008. As today is the last day of '07, I look back on the year and I can't help but to feel how blessed I truly am throughout the entire year. Sometimes, God blesses you with BIG and small things daily but I am sure you would agree with me that most of us remember only the BIG things; the fireworks-type of blessings; for all to see and applaud isn't it?.

However, the small things count too!. Before I go any further, I would like to thank God for the following people and events that happened in 2007:

1) Getting attached with my dearie darling Lydia!. Being with you is a DREAM come true. Really. It would not be exaggerating to say that you've brought colour into my life!. Most importantly, I would never forget the times when we pray and seek Him for a confirmation prior to entering this r/s!. In 2008, I want to love you even more; not just by words or financial provision but through acts of services and actions!. I am really looking forward to doing many things together with you in 2008!..hee..dear dear, thank you so much for the wonderful birthday party that you've planned and thank you for all the gifts that you've bought for me!.

You're self-less, generous, abundant in your blessings and gifts dear! I LOVE YOU!

2) Family Attending Xmas Service together!. As minute this may seem to others, but to be able to attend this year's xmas service together with mummy, my bro, my sisters and dearie is really a prayer coming to past! I am so happy that they enjoyed the xmas drama and I hope that in years to come, we will celebrate xmas together and decorate a xmas tree at home?..shall we?...to all, I would want to say "Thank you very much for coming to the xmas drama and I hope that you've been truly blessed!."

3) New Job with huge pay increment!. From being vision-less to vision-filled takes time and more than that, it takes a prayer answering God to answer prayers!. I remember the times where I would be praying for a perm position with my prev bank and how my confirmation would come in the months to come!. Although, I didn't eventually stay with my prev bank, I am blessed and glad that God is settling me well into my new job thus far!. Although it's a very different business nature and workload, but I believe that if I stick around long enough, there will be things to be learnt and accomplised.

Let this be a stepping stone to something greater for God!!!

4) Planning for marriage/New Flat Application/Saving up! All the above 3 items would not be possible if not for God's provision. Really. In the past, I wouldn't even dare to think about these things because I know it would be all talk but no action but now, at least there are action going on!. God is really good my friends, because we would never be able to outgive him EVER. Although at times, it seems a lot to give that amt in our hands, but at least, lets remind ourselves that we're sowing into the BEST ground!. Thus, both dearie and myself would want to continue to trust and believe that as we build His house, He will indeed build ours!. Near to the city, centrally located; how much more awesome can it get? :).

May 2008 be a year of true financial abundance!!!

The year 2007 just passed back so quickly, especially after June!. And there are things that I would want to better handle in the coming year; so in short; let me just list them out ONE by ONE!..hahahaha...

1) Planning each anniversary and birthday for dearie with exquisite effort!
2) Consistently serving in choir and attending practices.
3) Jogging 2km every 2 days.
4) Stick to allocated monthly budget for my allowance.
5) Have a healthy lifestyle by 1) cutting down on soft drinks 2) drinking more water 3) eating more fruits.
6) Reduce no of visits to doc for any ailments.
7) Spend more time with my family by dining at home at least 3 times a week.
8) Save up a 5 digit amount for our wedding by EOY.

For me, 2007 has been a year in transition for me in many areas but I am v happy that I am settling in well for my love life and my career thus far!. However, I know that MUCH more needs to be done still in 2008.

HERE I COME '08!!!!...God bless all of you and I love you dear dear and my family! :)

Australia - Melbourne

2007-12-18T13:08:00.000+08:00

Been a very long while since I blogged...hmm..where should I start?...hahaha...let me start with my recent trip to melbourne shall I?.. :)

The trip to melbourne was simply FAN-TA-BU-LOUS!..haha...dear dear's family was really a blessing to me throughout the entire trip!...really want to thank uncle and auntie for blessing me with meals through the 5 day trip and of course dear's sister for bringing us around for 2 full days!..haha...i really enjoyed myself through and through!..of course, this wasn't my first trip to melbourne but still there are so many things not yet explored!...dear and i have decided that if we can, we will make a trip to melbourne AGAIN!..yea!..hahaha!...the people there are much friendlier than what we see in sg starting from taxi drivers!..yes..the basic jobs of all!..the cabbies over in melbourne made it an effort to greet and chat with us every single time we boarded a cab!...it just made me feel that they are not just driving for a living, but they drive to serve the communters!..so different from the drivers here where they are rude, harsh and sometimes hard-up.

Well, apart from the people, the culture there is SOOOO RELAXED TOO!..i mean yes we walked around for 2 full days but yet we didn't feel the rush and pressure as felt in sg!..working communities were gg to work in the mornings but yet; they were pretty cool about it!..even strangers talk on the tram!..hahaha..i really find that AMAZING!..or maybe i haven't see enough of the world eh?...

One day, if I can, I would want to buy a lake-side house in melbourne, facing the lake where I can bring dear and my kids and family members for a summer vacation there!..hahaha..great isn't it?...the trip was really AWESOME!...

Would also want to thank Dear for taking care of me during the flight to melbourne because I vomitted 6 times during the 8 hour flight!..yes..it was that bad but dear dear's unconditional love really humbled and touched me so much that I resolved in my heart there and then to love her even more!!!...dear, I love you with all of my heart and soul!!!!..thank you for loving me darling baby!!!...

Now, back to sg, back to the hustle and bustle of the local community and work life routine, I want to live each day to the best I could and glorify God in the things I do!..impressions of my workplace or worklife are formed in my mind and I want to renew my mind to take dominion of my work!!!..1 day at a time to tackle, to pray through and to enjoy. Yes; enjoy even at work. :)

As the year draws to an end, I looked back knowing that there are things that I could have done better but in my heart, I tell myself that I will get those things fixed from now on and in 2008!...truly this year has been an AWESOME and WONDERFUL one because the end is always better than the beginning!!..

If you told me that this is how my year would end at Jan 07, I would rebuff you immediately.

But yet; God came true for me and gave me a new book to write on.

Our words form the world we live in and I just want to thank God for every blessing that He has poured into my life and for sending Dear dear into my black and white world to make it TECHNI-COLOR!..HAHAHAHA!...

11 more days to the end of 07. made your resolutions for 08 yet?..I will do mine soon!. :)

Melbourne Pics coming up!..cheerios!..take care!... :)

The Decision

2007-11-30T10:34:00.000+08:00

The past 2 weeks have been very busy for me; both personally and at work.

Personally, I have been busy with dating, attending choir practices, sticking to my jogging routine (3 times a week) and other misc stuff.

At work, I have been busy adapting to the various new roles and responsiblities that have been bestowned on me since day 01; which is effectively a helpdesk role; problem solving being the main nature of the job. Adapting to this position requires myself to first have a mindset change; because coming from a front office job previously is a totally different ball game all together. I realised that the earlier struggle that I had for a while in my 2nd week was the retention of the same mindset I had when I was at my previous place; and by using that mindset to do the current work, I was uncomfortable, whiney and feeling unjustified all the time.

However, as I begin to change my mindset, things begin to change. No, the workload did not and will not decrease, but the outlook of the situation becomes brighter and more optimistic and the best part is; I have a vision for what I want to do right here and in a few years time. So effectively speaking, I will not be in this role for more than 2 years; i gurantee you. haha!..because my primary job satisfaction still derives from meeting clients and going out for client visits for meetings etc etc. Hence, with that purpose in mind, I am feeling better now!

I have also reminded myself that this is the decision I made because the peace of God came upon me as I was seeking Him for a direction earlier this year when I decided to leave my previous workplace. By reminding myself of the sense of peace, it has no doubt indeed helped me to overcome many emotional turmoil that I initially experienced when I first got here.

In the next 5 years, I would be 30 years old and by then; this is what I would like to acheive:
1) Get married and have our boon keng DBSS Flat!
2) Vice President ranking
3) Five Figure Savings
4) A choir i/c or bv (In no order of preference)
5) Have my first kid
6) At least 2 of my family members recieving salvation
7) Have a Honda Jazz (2012 model?)..haha..

Yesterday, I finally made the decision or rather purchase of my entire life!...hahaha...as my heart pounded and thumped, I mustered up enough courage to whip out my card and signed on the dotted line...of the reciept!..and viola!...the first of many ring purchases to come for myself and dearie!...was it intimidating?..of course it was..but I really want to thank Dear for her understanding and support during this period of waiting because it was certaintly not easy for her!...dear dear, thank you so much for your love and support throughout this period of time; without you; this purchase would have been meaningless.

But with you, this purchase is THE Purchase of my life!..hahaha!

Am so happy because after 5 months of relationship, we are still RIGHT on track and while we are saving up financially and preparing ourselves continually emotionally, lets enjoy the process together alright dear?..hahaha!...love you dear!

I am also so proud of my little sis; Sarah for doing so well in her PSLE!...and the best part is she is the best performer out of all 4 siblings!..hahaha..surely the last is always the best!...hahaha...really v happy and proud of her even right now, as I think of it, it brings a wide smile to my face because I am honoured to have such a SMART sister!..jiayou jiayou sarah!..no matter which sec sch u enter, I am sure you will continue to do well and yes; I will honour my promise of getting you the bag ok?..hahaha.... :)

Last but not least, its the WEEKENDS!..hahaha..read WEEK-END(ed)..hahaha!...cool eh?..will be attending dear's friend Olivia's baby shower tommorow and running my 1st ever OFFICIAL marathon on sunday!..even though its only 10km but I have been training hard for it k?..hahahaha...dear hor dear?..heee...such a fun filled weekend coming right up!...

I can't wait to see you tommorow darling..i miss you ubber loads u know!...I LOVE YOU DARLING BABY!

Muackieos dearie and my family!!! :)

Century Mark - Our 100th Date!

2007-11-12T11:34:00.000+08:00

Now this is an occassion really worth mentioning and remembering! :)

As I was updating the respective dates that dearie and myself have been going on since day 01 of our relationship, I found out that actually today is our 100th date!..hahaha...although it was just a morning fetch to work session for me and dearie, I still want to consider it as a date..hee...can i dearie?..haha...as I looked back on the past 5 months of being together with dearie, I am really amazed because we wouldn't have been together if we relied solely on our own strength and abilities; but it was only through the combined effort of praying and God's grace and presence in this relationship that we became stronger after weathering each storm from time to time!

God is really good towards us and I want to firmly believe together with dearie that our days ahead in this relationship will be mightily blessed as we put Him first in our lives! Amen?..hahaha.. :)

Am really blessed the past few days because my parents allowed me to use the car while they were away and because of this, I saved quite a lot on cab fares!..hahaha..for once, I didn't bless the cab uncles..hahaha...thanks dad and mum!...am really looking forward to see them back in sg because the house is really quiet at night.... :)

Yesterday was SMASHING WONDERFUL because we cooked our first MEAL together!...complete with ice cream and coffee!..hahaha..we attempted to cook tomato mushroom spaghetti and I must say that dearie is very gracious and kind to say that it was a novelty that I cooked it stir-fried. hmm..hahaha...dear, thanks for being so encouraging towards me and even though I didn't cook it in the conventional way, you choose to look at it positively and even praised me!..dear, thank you so much for your efforts to fry the mushroom and garlic too!..I want to cook more with you forever ok dearie?..hahaha...lets try different dishes hao ma?..heee... :)

Dear dear, I just want to tell you that I am looking forward to our anniversary this week!..yay!...hmm..will bring you to a place that you have never been before ok dear?...hahaha...i love you v v v v muchie dear!!!!

Dear, you have given your best in everything that you do and I want to reciprocate that too! :)

I love you and miss you like CRAZY!!!... :)

Reflection of oneself

2007-11-03T14:28:00.000+08:00

Being in a relationship requires oneself to be willing to love and serve and yet maintain an attitude of love and humility at all times. Of course, no one will be able to do that every single time he/she is out with their loved ones isn't it? But to me, this is one key area of my life that I would want to improve on because I feel that it is part of the maturing process of an individual being in a relationship.

Many a times, it doesn't require much of myself when everything is going well; ie financial abundance, good health, close walk with God to be able to love dear to the best of my ability. However, the true test of one's character; to me is when things are NOT going well, am I still able to love her to the best of my ability or does my love become conditional or situational?

After 5 months of being in this relationship, I am truly blessed and happy because through her, I can see my true self in all situations; not pretencious or ideally idealistic but I can see the real Glenn through dearie. And every single time a fault is discovered, I would put in efforts to change and be a better lover and partner to dearie as well as a refined individual. I am not there yet but I am still trying to be better. :)

Dear, thank you so much for being so patient and accepting of me and my love. Thank you for your endless stream of encouraging words, expressions, gifts and time. You have been a God-sent to me and I thank God for sending you into my life!. :)

I aspire to be an individual who can truly know his self worth in Christ and be able to manifest the fruits of the spirit in me; ie patience, love, kindness, long suffering. And by becoming more Christ-like in my attitude towards all things, I hope that one day my family will be saved, dearie would be tremendously blessed through me and my good friends will all experience the love of God through my life. :)

As both dearie and myself go through this arise and build season once again, we firmly believe that it would be a season of never ending breakthroughs and overflowing abundance in our lives as well as our family members' lives!. We will never be able to outgive God and I know that truly eyes have not seen nor ear heard; the things that God is going to do in our lives!.

On this note; I just want to say that I love you dear v v much and I love my family too!

Cheerios!
Glenn

Been a long while...

2007-11-01T13:08:00.000+08:00

Hey friends!

It's been a long while since I blogged...last time I blogged was 18 October...so the qn is what have I been busy with the past 2 - 3 weeks?...hmm..I would say that have been busy with preparing for my new work..dating...spending time at home...as well as misc stuff!..haha!..the past 3 weeks have been eventful; if not fruitful!. Because I have learnt many valuable lessons; at work, in my relationship with dearie...and generally on how to treat people in a manner that they would be more appreciated...so what have I learnt the past 3 weeks?

I have learnt:

1) I must love a person in the manner that he/she is most receptive to and not the manner in which I am most comfortable with.

Many a times, we tend to think that we are loving, caring for the people around us without considering what are their primary love gifts and expressions? And as we continue to pour out our love expressions in the manner that we are most receptive to, we fail to consider if the other party has the same love expression as us?. As a result, we find ourselves often making statements like "But I loved you very much right?".

However, the truth of the matter is if the other person doesn't feel loved, I would have failed in expressing my intentions and feelings in the first place. This not applies to my relationship with dear but also my relationships with my parents and siblings too!. I have to not just love, but love more effectively so that the people around me would feel the love in a more tangible way!.

2) Giving is a choice, not an obligation

Giving my time to tend to a person or do something is always a choice and not something I have to do. And that applies not just to my work, but also to my relationship with my loved ones!. Whenever our minds decide that I want to do something or spend time with that special someone today, our hearts got to follow through and also commit to that course of action. If not, we will often find ourselves, being at the wrong place, at the wrong time doing the wrong thing. But in the first place, no one pointed a gun to our heads and force us to make a choice right?. hahaha...however, as simple as it may seem, we often do something out of obligation but not love.

Right here, I would like to tell dearie and my family that whenever I spend time with you, its not out of obligation but its out of an intention of pure love!. :)

My first 2 weeks at my new workplace has been great!. Mingling and getting to know the new colleagues have been challenging but fruitful!. Of course, it will never be the same as my previous work environment, but the people here have been nice thus far...well for those who might not know, I have moved "backwards" to learn more on the processes and deliverables in this new environment where it mainly handles the domestic market. However, although many question why I made this move, I remain convicted and certain that it is the right move because if I want to build and climb higher in my career, my foundations got to be firm and solid and broad isn't it?.

Moreover, I got a huge pay increment by moving "backwards"..so why not?..hahahaha...

More than that, this job will pretty much equip me with the neccessary skillset and know-hows on the backend processes so that I would be more effective and efficient for my next move... :)

Learning to see the positives in every situation isn't easy but with God, it is not impossible! Amen?

Been making trips to hdb hub with dearie over the past 2 months, looking at the showflats and I must say that I am really impressed by the interior design; although I am confident that with 2 creative minds; dearie and mine added together, our future home would be even more awesome!..hahaha..really excited about what is to come in the near future; but nonetheless, I want to take every single day to love dear even more and to build our foundations in Christ as well as in our lives!

Planning would only be effective if we factor God in the entire picture isn't it? Because I do not want to waste time planning and planning; only to find that it's not God's will at the end of the day! hahahaha....

We already know where we want..so we will continue to pray for it to come to past! hahaha!

Dearie darling, I love u v v v v v muchie and can't wait to see u tmr!!!...miss you like crazy!!!!...hahahahaha..

You are so special and unique to me and every moment spent with you is like a snowflake; as there won't be any identical moments together!..

Just want to give a shoutout to Dear and my family members, may God protect and bless you wherever you go and whatever you do ok?...I love you guys!

Dear, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Higher Pay? Say Sorry...

2007-10-18T11:22:00.000+08:00

This is a very interesting article that I came across on CNN.com! Read it to find out why!

Want a higher paycheck? Say you're sorry

People earning over $100,000 a year are almost twice as likely to apologize after an argument or mistake as those earning $25,000 or less, Fortune's Anne Fisher reports.

(Fortune) -- Market research can be full of surprises. Sometimes, in seeking to find out one thing, researchers turn up a whole different set of unexpected conclusions. Consider: A few months ago, online pearl merchants The Pearl Outlet (www.thepearloutlet.com) noticed that a growing number of customers, when asked the reason for their pearl purchases, replied that the baubles were given as an apology, usually to a wife or girlfriend. Intrigued, The Pearl Outlet hired pollsters Zogby International (www.zogby.com) to find out more.

When Zogby's researchers queried 7,590 Americans, both male and female, they discovered that people who are more willing to say "I'm sorry" make more money than people who rarely or never apologize.

People earning over $100,000 a year are almost twice as likely to apologize after an argument or mistake as those earning $25,000 or less, the survey found. Respondents were asked to identify themselves as belonging to one of a set of income ranges. They were also asked whether they would apologize in three situations: when they felt they were entirely to blame for a problem; when they thought they were only partly at fault; and when they believed they were blameless.

In all three cases, "a person's willingness to apologize was an almost perfect predictor of their place on the income ladder," the study says. More than nine out of ten (92%) of $100,000+ earners apologize when they believe they're to blame, compared to 89% of people earning between $75,000 and $100,000, 84% of those who make $50,000 to $75,000, 72% of those earning between $35,000 and $50,000, and 76% of people earning between $25,000 and $35,000. Among survey respondents who make $25,000 or less, just 52% say they usually apologize when they know they're at fault.

And think about this: Even when they believe themselves to be completely blameless, 22% of the highest earners say "I'm sorry," compared to just 13% of those in the lowest income group.

Any statistician will tell you that so direct and consistent a correlation between behavior and income is extremely rare, but what does it mean? Should you practice groveling if you want to make more money? Well, no.

But saying "Oops, I'm sorry" now and then is an indicator of strong people skills, essential for moving up in almost any organization. The link between income and willingness to apologize "shows that successful people are willing to learn from their mistakes and are keen on mending troubled relationships," says British business coach Peter Shaw.
Terry Shepherd, president of The Pearl Outlet, has his own theory: "Maybe high earners apologize more because, as someone once said, it's easier to apologize afterward than to ask permission beforehand - and high earners tend to ask permission less."

Still another possible explanation, according to Marty Nemko, Ph.D., author of Cool Careers for Dummies (For Dummies, $19.99): "High earners tend to be more secure" and less likely to go on the defensive when challenged or criticized. "They realize when they're wrong and know it won't hurt their career much to apologize."

Indeed, taking the high road - acknowledging one's share of blame, or even accepting some blame when it isn't justified - is a trait shared by many great leaders, because it tends to build solidarity with the troops.

4th Month Anniversary - Taiwan and Singapore

2007-10-16T09:34:00.000+08:00

How time flies isn't it?

Both dearie and myself have been officially together for 4 months already!. Wow! Praise God for every blessing, love, care, protection and wisdom that He had poured forth into this relationship and always shining His face upon us! Praise God!. Throughout the past 4 months, we have indeed learnt many valuable lessons on how to put each other's needs before our own needs and to love and give our best to God and to each other. Although there have been slight hiccups along the way, but all these had been transformed into valuable learning experiences that money alone cannot buy. And by the grace of God, we have come out of each challenging situation, stronger and more in love with each other!. :)

Today is our 4th month anniversary and as dearie has to fly off this morning to taiwan for a biz trip, I bought her a bouquet of beautiful flowers! of 8 red roses and 8 pink roses!..haha!...am v happy that she really loves the flowers!!..dearie is a very amazing woman because she always gives the best she could into everything that she does; her career, our relationship, her walk with God, her family and friends..dear, you are simply amazing! and everytime I look at you; I feel humbled to lead you in this relationship!.

Dear, you are truly the best that God has placed in my life and I will always love, care and protect you 4ever ok!

The past few months had been tremendously awesome and I firmly believe in my heart, that as we set out to love each other and God more, we can do even better in this relationships and hence manage our own lives better! because out of the heart, flows the issues of life!.. :)

Can't wait for friday to come because dearie will arrive back in SG!..hahahaha...really miss her a lot a lot a lot!.. sometimes, just wish i could go with her but I will choose to remain happy and positive because at least there is sms technology and long distance calls every single night!..yay!..hahaha...i really love you v v v much dearie baby! :)

I love you dear! and on this very special day, I JUST WANT TO SAY "HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY!". Muacks!

Lets celebrate like none other anniversaries when you are back ok? ..love you dearie darling!!.. :)

Love is unconditional and freely given.

2007-10-05T13:20:00.000+08:00

In the past few days ever since I last blogged, many things happened and through this, I had learnt many lessons.

I have learnt that I cannot take anything or anyone in my life for granted. People come into my life for a reason and it is my job to find out what is that purpose for? So that I am able to accord to the respective individual the appropriate level of attention, love and care. People don't just appear in your life without a reason.

I have learnt that no amount of future planning would ever be sufficient if you do not have a strong present. The eye for detail for everyday happenings or events in your life is even more important than ONE big project that you are currently planning for in the next few years. No present = No future.

I have learnt to listen and keep listening. Sometimes, all people want is a listening ear so that they are able to share their burdens with you whenever they share and probably, they already have a solution in their minds. Being able to provide a solution is important, however it fades significantly in the light of listening aptly to the person first.

I have learnt that love is truly unconditional with no strings attached. Love is freely giving yourself to your loved one; be it my girlfriend or my family. Of course, when you freely give, there will be a risk of being hurt. However, it is the overwhelming love that will heal all hurts that are encountered along the way right?. Love doesn't boast, doesn't parade itself, doesn't seek to have but always seeking to bless and to give. Loving a person means being with the person through thick and thin, through fire and high waters, to hold her hand and look her into the eyes and say "Everything is going to be alright".

I have learnt that love is best expressed in the most inconvenient situations. When you choose to continue to love a person even in the midst of a very inconvenient situation or in the midst of frustration and anger, the person recieving your love will be even more blessed as compared to when you love out of comfort.

Dear, I know that I am still a work in progress in many aspects of my life and I thank you for choosing to accept and love me more and more every single day!. You are truly a gem that God has placed in my life and I want to honour, love, care and protect you for the rest of my life!.

Thank you God for sending dear into my life..I LOVE YOU GOD!..

Dearie darling, I love you too! muacks! You are the best! :)

Recollection of the past year.

2007-09-28T09:40:00.000+08:00

As I look back on the past 1 year since Sep 06, it dawned upon me that so many things had happened through the passing of time!. Let me bring you through the various aspects of my life in the past 1 year in my attempt to create the most vivid illustration ever.

Career Progression
I joined my current bank in Sep 06 as a wide eyed eager to learn individual; making his first foray into the banking industry!. Encouraged by the 16% pay increment then, my desire back then was to stay in the banking industry for the foreseable future, to learn and acquire core skill sets, to establish working relationships with colleagues, bosses and peers and to ultimately glorify God in all that I do.

1 year on into Sep 07, I have by far acheived good and positive results in terms of client reviews, superior appraisal, participated in an organisation wide competition and won $100 TANGS voucher, obtained 2 glowing testimonials from my bosses. All this would not be possible if not for God. To God be the glory!. In addition, I have also had a very cordial, friendly working relationship with my ex-team and current team. I have matured in my thinking, planning, progression of a more casual la-faire attitude to a more professional attitude I have now. Of course, I still have much to improve, change, refine, acquire in my years to come in the banking industry and I will always change and improve for the better without having to become the following:

A snobbish, proud, unfeeling, impatient and overweight banking professional. I ABSOULTELY hate this.

As I am spending my last days in my current bank, easing off my once hectic and unimaginable workload, taking a "break" while serving my 1 month notice, I know that a larger challenge lies ahead of me. I remembered one promise that I always never failed to stand upon as I was doing my QT everytime; which is "to lift up our eyes and look before us, the land that God has set aside for us; to go in and possess the land". And now it is coming to past; the land of a new job, new pay increment, new challenges, new colleagues and new processes.

Thus, as I go in and possess the land, I want to do it with God's peace, love, hope, joy, wisdom and annoiting!. It is not going to be easy as I am currently in the last stages of my consideration; primarily career prospects and renumeration package. But I am still praying through and I want to be guided by the peace of God that WILL surpass all UNDERSTANDING. No amount of reasoning will ever amount to what the peace of God can do in my life. :).

I want to once again give glory to God because either of the options that I choose, I will get a minimum of 52% increment!. Praise God!

Emotional Life

1 year had passed since Sep 06 and as I looked back on this area of my life; I am indeed very blessed because first and foremost, God had sent the most awesome blessing to me!..in the form of my dearie darling!..vivid memories of the past where I will pray during my QT for a partner and even as I pray, I never fail to continue and believe that God has the best choice in store for me!. And He did!. Throughout the past 3 months of our relationship, it's been my honour and privilege to be a blessing to you dear..and to serve you in all ways possible!. Even though we still have much to learn from each other and from God, I want you to know that I am committed to love you, care for you, pray with you and be beside you always and always!.

Remember God is love personified?..haha!..the phase that started it all...

For a couple of such a young relationship, to be planning for the future is almost unheard of to most of my friends; in church or outside of church. But I firmly believe that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!. Thus, after much consultation with dearie, we have drawn up an excel financial spreadsheet for the next 48 months!..haha...and I really thank God for His wisdom, peace and annoiting that is upon us even as we pray and plan together!. God is truly awesome!...in addition, we have also identified the place where we want to build our love nest together!..haha...but I refused to be carried away by all these happenings but I really want to pray and lift up all our cares and worries into His hands together with dearie!..and believe Him that all things will truly be possible!.

Indeed, eyes have not seen; nor ears heard; of what God is going to do in our lives.

Family Life

Throughout the past 1 year, relationships with my parents and siblings have improved!..I have learnt how to open myself up more to them through this period of time, to stand in the gap and to pray for them, their needs and lift them into God's hands through prayers!..my family is much stronger now and by faith, I believe that its going to be better in the next 1 year to come!..I will continue to honour my parents and bless my siblings through gifts and words of encouragement!..and let the peace of God fill our family!..the peace that surpasses all understanding!.

Dad, Mum, Brother and Sisters, you are all precious and important to me!. I Love you guys!.

Walk with God and Ministry

In the past 1 year, I have been given an opportunity involved in the planning and design of the choir website! After many rounds of discussion and planning, we have finally came up with a design and submitted it for approval!..praise God!..haha...in addition, I was transferred to another cg around jun this year and it was really up another level for me!..because of the fellowship, the tangible presence of God everytime the cg met!..its been really very awesome!..i want to keep believing that the end of the year will be better than the beginning in more ways that one!..hahaha..lets continue to grow together in God k dearie?..heee...love you!!

Wow..it had been a very long blog entry isn't it?..haha...i will write about our first baking class together in the next blog entry!..stay tuned!..

Cheerios!

Faithfully Committed.

2007-09-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

I am at a season of my life where I have to constantly make decisions regarding various aspects of my life and sometimes I find myself making so much more decisions than ever before. Of course, needless to say, there will be a consequence for every decision I make or say and I have certaintly learnt in the past 3 months together with dearie!. At this point, I just want to give a BIG SHOUTOUT to Dear!..because I really miss you a lot as I am typing this and I really cannot wait to see you tommorow!...you have been such a blessing to me in my life and I want to love, treasure and cherish you forever and ever!..muacks dearie!...

Last week, I got a revised offer from a rival organisation that is also trying to pull me over and join them. Upon hearing and recieving that offer, mixed feelings soon followed and I was instantly feeling the burden upon my shoulders. However, as I confide in dear and continued to pray and seek God, His peace came upon me yesterday during service and I have decided to list down some questions that I want to clarify with both organisations before making a decision!..thanks dear for your sound advice!.. you have once again been such a HUGE blessing to me!

I LOVE YOU DEAR DEAR!...Muacks!

Right now right here, I am trying to be the best I can for the remainder of my stay with my current company and continue to be a blessing to the people around me and that includes my DEARIE DARLING BABY!..hahaha...feeling abit emo now..because I am gg to miss her when she flies over for a few days for a biz trip..first time ever...but I fully understand that work is work and well, this is part and parcel of working right?..so I have to get used to it and continue to fully support dear dear in every single situation that she is going through!..yay!...

Just sense that this week is going to be a tremendous one ahead!...and I want to stay focused, keep loving the people around me..keep giving and being a blessing to them!...especially my family and dearie!...

I miss you loads loads loads dear....i want to be with you till eternity can?...i love you!..muacks!

Breakthrough!

2007-09-19T16:08:00.000+08:00

This is my 253th entry. :)

The past few days had been tremendously blessed beyond any word can describe. Not even I would have imagined or thought at the start of this year that God would unfold His plan and answer my prayers that everything that I have been asking for came to past! Praise God!. :). I still vividly remember at the start of the year; I prayed for the following items:

1) To find a life partner
2) To be able to serve Him more in my ministry
3) To shine for Him in my career and prosper financially
4) To have better relations with my family members

And right now, 9 months into the year, by the grace of God, all of the above 4 prayers are answered!. Praise God! Amen!..hahaha...currently, I am happily blessed by my relationship with dear every single day, part of the choir website team, got approached by 4 different banks since last yr and finally decided to move to one in Oct with a 52% pay increment and my relationships with my family members have significantly improved!.

Once again, I am really humbled and I have to always remind myself that I cannot take all these for granted but continue to strive towards being closer to God through praying during my quiet time!. On top on that, I want to be a faithful servant of all these blessings that were poured forth into my life and continue to be a blessing to the people around me; dear, my family, my friends etc etc...

I am really amazed when I look back on how my short career path has evolved since my first job as a web designer. Indeed, it has been glory to glory, strength to strength and I realised that all that I have been doing thus far, conducting training, people interaction, client fronting, acquiring the various communication soft skills were actually all part of the bigger plan that God has for me so that I can be able to contribute more effectively in my next role as a client service banking professional!. Praise God!.

And I will never take the open heavens and God's presence ever for granted.

As I continue to stand upon His promises and keep praying; keep seeking Him, the end will surely be better than the beginning!. Haha!...I am so blessed to be able to have dear in my life too!...to love, care, protect, bless her for all the days of my life!..i love you dearie darling!... :)

On another front, we have also started to chart out our financial plans for the near future and in the midst of doing that, continue to encourage one another to save faithfully!...and..ahem...next year is truly going to be an exciting year; full of challenges but I BELIEVE with all my spirit, heart and soul, that we are going to bash through it together yar dear?..with God!..haha...

As important as planning for the future is, treasuring the present is equally critical because without the present, there will be no future right?..yea common sense..but many a times, we tend to always look at the BIG picture without taking note of the little details of life that will cause unneccessary friction..

Lesson learnt: I must learn to micro and MACRO manage for different situations of my life!.

Time flies! and we just spent our 3 months anniversary together last sunday!..hahaha...went to grapevine to makan and I tell you..the food there is FABULOUS!...awesomely struck us!..haha..hmm..especially the beef steak and the ice cream brownie!..the best part is..it's pretty affordable too!..

Awesome..simply awesome!...

And I can't wait to marry her. :) As unususal as it may seem for a guy to be so eager to settle down, I want to remain committed to God, her and this relationship for eternity. :)

God, you are the best!
Dear, I love you! Muacks!

---the end---

God is Love Personified.

2007-09-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

I am really blessed to be able to love, care and bless you for all the days of my life!...I love you dearie!...muacks dear!...I MISS YOU V V MUCH! :)

020907 - It's Official

2007-09-02T12:51:00.000+08:00

Today is a very very special day and I will remember it for the rest of my life. Recieved a sms from dear this morning and as I read the sms, the stone in my heart for so long a time has been finally put to rest!. We've recieved the blessings from both of our leaders!. And once again, God is a prayer answering God!. Amen!

Throughout the past 2.5 months, we have went through a lot together; praying and seeking God everytime we have an opportunity and the numerous prayers we had at her place to continously lift up our personal lives, our walks with God and the relationship in His hands. I can vividly remember that for the both of us, we could really feel the peace in our hearts every single time after we pray! Amen!. Throughout the journey, although we had moments of doubts and fear, but we continued to step out in faith and believe God that He will give His approval via our leaders!.And He did! Amen!

Right now, I would like to thank God for placing dear into my life and I am really v v v blessed to be able to care, love and treasure you for the rest of my life! Hee...I love you very very much dearie baby baobei!. Haha...and lets continue to put God first in our lives and shine for Him in every single aspect of our lives ok dear?...Iets continue to love God even more!! Muacks dear! :)

Even as we embark on the 36 month plan together to save up and continue to prepare ourselves emotionally, financially and spirtually for the next stage of our lives; lets continue to believe that we will go from glory to glory, faith to faith and strength to strength k dearie?

I miss you v v v much! Muacks!.

I love you!

Future.

2007-08-28T13:49:00.000+08:00

When I was a kid, I thought and spoke like one.
When I was a teen, I thought and spoke like one.
Now I am an adult, there is a desire in me to speak and think maturely; and that usually means a few more steps ahead into the future. Because it is no longer about living for the day, but preparing for the next few days too.

Once upon a time, I looked upon my working parents and really admired their financial freedom, worklife and social life. Being free from tons and tons of school work seems an eternal escapade for me back then. And yes you guess it right; I wasn't really studious back then and as such, I didn't get very good grades from Primary - Secondary level. Life changed when I went into Poly, got to know new friends and eventually got introduced to the greatest friend of all, Jesus. I started to take my life seriously, plan, mug for my studies, attend weekly cgms and services and started to sing in the church choir. My life took a 180 degree turn for the better. More excitement and more fun I would say. Even though in the past 7 years I had my fair share of ups and downs, I am glad that I wasn't going through all of this alone. Jesus was with me all these while. Really.

Sometimes, life can get so busy and complicated; more so as you grow into adulthood and embrace the working adult lifestyle; bills to pay, financial commitments, career progression considerations, family and many other things fighting for your attention that we cannot hear God at all. Thus, whilst we continue to cope and manage our life's commitments to the best of our ability, we have to continually rely on His strength every single day of our lives.

It never fails to amaze me how tangible God is and it's been a privilege to serve in the choir. Everytime I sing on stage, I try to remind myself that it is not for personal edification or glory but to experience His presence more and more; deeper and deeper so that we can in turn be a conductor to transmit His presence to the congregation. Many a times, my deepest hurts, worries, wounds were healed by His presence raining down on me during worship. As such, my burdens were lifted, hurts were healed and people were forgiven.

It is going to be exciting times ahead as the both of us embark on our journey together and prepare for it in the months ahead!. I am truly very blessed to be able to love and care for you dear in my life and it never fails to amaze me when God provides, He really provides us with the best He has for us. Even though, we are both a Work In Progress, but let us continue to strive to draw closer to God and be more loving to each other as well as the people around us yar?. :) . I am very happy that throughout the past few months, we have got to know each other more and deeper every single day. The times that we prayed together, laughed together, joked together, ate together will always be something that I will treasure for the rest of my life. And I will never take you for granted.

One step at a time; One brick at a time; and may the construction begin. :)

I love you very much dear!. :)

Although we don't know what surprises the future holds, but we can determine how we prepare for it. :)

Ciao folks!

Various Thoughts

2007-08-21T12:52:00.000+08:00

I feel happy and contented today.

Ever since I woke up earlier and until now after having lunch, I am still feeling happy and contented. I guess the reason is because of the word that God gave me last night during my qt. And because of that phase and verse, I know that I can approach His throne in boldness and ask by faith. In addition, I was also reminded that God didn't give us a spirit of fear, anger, anxiety or depression but a spirit of faith, love, hope and joy!. Even though there are many things that are 'pending' right now, I am just v happy to have one thing confirmed; that is to hear from God last night and I will always treasure this closeness to Him in my life.

In about 2 weeks time, I am going to move officially to a new team within my current department and I am excited because of the new things that I am going to learn from now until the end of the year. For the past 3 years ever since I started to work, God has been really good to me, promotions upon promotions and pay increments as well!. Even though my current and future position might not seem appealing to many other people who are getting much higher pay than I am for their first job, but I am thankful for His provision for my life through the past 6 years of walking with Him.

Hopefully by next Jan/Feb, my position will be confirmed. If not, I will have to venture and look out for other opportunities because to me; stability is everything. I gotta keep praying and keep asking because He is a good Father to me!.

Recently, I have been drawing up plans to save up financially by considering the various options and as well as discussing together with her. Just a side note; am just so blessed to have her in my life and to be constantly share and encourage one another every single day through words, actions and prayers just simply brightens up my day!. I wouldn't want to exchange anything on the face of this world for her. :p. We have already placed the structures of the bank accounts in place and I believe with all my heart, mind, soul and spirit that from next month onwards, the balance in the savings account will move from glory to glory and strength to strength!.

Haha..it is no longer 'I' but 'We'. :p

So, all in all, it had been an eventful 6 days for me and her and I am just so blessed to have you in my life!.

Thank God for sending you into my life and I would never ever take you for granted. You're da bestest!!

Lets go through this tog! :p

Love

2007-08-15T13:14:00.000+08:00

Love seeks to give and never to take.
Love seeks to bless and never to burden.
Love seeks to understand and resolve what our minds cannot understand and resolve.
Love is all empowering and all conquering.
Love, coupled with peace can be the best stabliser to an individual.
Love gives an individual a vision and a future hope to hang on to.
Love is God-personified.

To me, loving a person is never about what you can get from the relationship. On the contrary, it is about giving and blessing the other individual beyond what he/she can ever imagine or think of. Many a times, where the situation, setting and timing is perfect, it's easy to say "I love you". But when the going gets tough, the question is can you still say "I love you"?. Because, these 3 words "I love you" means the most when it is expressed in a time of inconvenience and trials. Thus, love is never solely built on emotions. On how 2 individuals feel at the point of time of their life.

When love is built on God's truth, conviction and emotions, this love will stay strong no matter what is happening outside because it is like an ark that protects the 2 individuals and their subsequent descendants from this relationship. What matters more to me, is what is actually keeping the love relationship strong on the inside? And not from the outside. Of course, gifts, flowers, dining at fine restaurants are awesome things to do; however, does an individual do it because of it is a trend? or norm? or because he/she is simply convicted that they love the other individual.

I want to give my best to the people I love and hold close to my heart; God, my family and her.

I just want to say; I love you so much.

Been a long time...

2007-08-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

Hey friends!

Its been almost 2 weeks since I last blogged and I am back!..hahahaha..been v busy lately...taking leave, enjoying life, patoh-ing, going gym, doing up the choir site and many many more stuff!..hahaha!..I am really v blessed through the past 2 months!...regained my focus personally and spiritually and I really want to make the last 4 months of this yr count!..hahaha..before ending it off with a big bang!..my birthday!..muHahahaha..I knw that someone has something awesome in store for me already..if you r reading this, just want to say THANK U FOR EVERYTHING! You are the best! :)

I love it when I experience His presence, peace and love whenever I pray and engage!. For the past 7 years, I have really been blessed and my life has been radically transformed for the better of course!. From a teenager with zero confidence, low self esteem, overweight and unfit to a fitter young adult with good self confidence and healthy self image, God is really good to me!. Just like what Pst Bernard preached over the weekend, we have to learn the art of contentment at times by looking at the various memorial stones that He had placed in our lives from time to time!. Simply because when you are contented within yourself, dis-satisfaction cannot enter into your life and hence it reduces the level of distraction in our lives caused by Mr S.A Tan!.

I want to learn how to be 100% contented with the blessings that God has poured forth into my life, continue to be faithful in handling and managing those blessings while expecting more blessings to come forth. It may sound v contradicting to you now, but basically to me, there are 2 types of dis-satisafaction; positive and negative dis-satisfaction.

What I am striving to learn is positive dis-satisfaction; which simply means to stand on His promises of provision towards our lives while learning to manage well the current blessings that we already have. Positive dis-satisfaction doesn't put a burden on you and you will not find yourself grumbling all the time. But instead, you will be totally focused on Him; the Provider more than being focus on the provision. It makes you strive to be more excellent in everything that you do and thus your attitude improves over time!.

Good and willing attitude -> Increased Responsiblity -> Generation of excellent results -> Promotion in life.

It all starts with a willing heart to want to have ownership.

The next 4 months till Dec is going to be exciting! and truly the end is better; in fact MUCH better than the beginning!.

And I am thankful to Him for you. I love you.

60 or 32?

2007-07-30T13:12:00.000+08:00

Haha, forgive me if my entry title sounds abit quirky but just felt inspired to use such a title!..haha... :)

So, what is 60 and what is 32?..well..60 stands for the no of days that I have known her and 32 stands for the remaining no of days before our HUGE breakthrough!..haha..right now, the very reason why I want to blog is because I have so many thoughts in my mind that I want to express..and of course the 2nd best way to express it is via blogging!..seriously speaking, as the both of us reached the 60 day mark tommorow, looking back never fails to make me realise how blessed I truly am. Sometimes, I am sure that you have been through situations in your life where you have been blessed continously for a period of time and you become 'used' to the blessings and as such, you either dismiss it as a conincidence or another blessing right?.

Well, not for this situtation.

As I look back on what has happened throughout the past 60 days, I always make it a point to remind myself that the end is always better than the beginning and although the past 60 days have been tremendously blessed, the next 60 days is going to be even better amen?!.

I want to thank God for:

1) Introducing her into my life and vice versa
2) Giving us endless topics to talk about over the phone
3) Blessing us with personal chemistry!
4) Using us to bless one another with love, care and concern
5) Being each other's prayer warrior!

Although I have to say that the next 32 days will be crucial, however just want to tell you (if you are reading) once again that, we can and will go through this together alright?. It will not be comfortable for sure; but we will both feel the comfort of fulfilling this decision together!.

You are simply the best!

Am fasting today and been a while since I fasted; reason being whenever I tried to fast in the past, I will suffer from gastric conditions that will make me abandon my attempt. However, its different this time around!..thank God for His protection and that even right now at 1.22pm in the afternoon, I am still feeling ok surviving on water itself!..haha...7 more hours to go..God, make it like 7 minutes?..haha!..

On a serious note, I just want to say that fasting is good. Not because you can diet. But it allows you to clear your thoughts faster and more effectively and most importantly, you deny your flesh. When your flesh is weak, God can then increase His presence, annoiting, wisdom in your life and you can then shine even brighter for Him!. Isn't that true?

Am going to start attending my new team's meetings after NDP and am excited!..haha...i came into this bank facing many challenges to overcome, steep learning curve being one of them and now that I have pretty much overcame much of them, except for one or two nasty clients that will come biting, I am ready to move on!..haha..swing on baby!..haha..as you can observe by now, I am typing v fast and I am abit cranky..hee...but I feel good!.. :)

New team = New colleagues = New challenges = New work = More challenges?

But then again, God is good. All the time God is good. :)

Just want to tell you; you r simply the bestest of the mostest! :)

To God be the Glory

2007-07-27T13:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a truly awesome week!

In the midst of the ever increasing workload in terms of complexity and pure numbers, I just feel very blessed that I was seldom overwhelmed. I have learnt that our personal walk with God is very important because apart from all other things that we can do to recharge our physical bodies and minds, there isn't anything much that we can do physically to recharge ourselves spiritually and emotionally but to pray and engage. As we learn to walk in His will, there will be times of difficult decisions to make but ultimately all things will be made beautiful in His time and season. For example, one conviction that I have held on very firmly throughout the past 10 mths or so at my current workplace is that my current appointment is not of an accident; but one that is totally in line with His will for my life. And holding on to this conviction, it had helped me to weather through extremely stressful times rather smoothly.

Of course, I am still a work in progress and will continue to be so. However, there must still be progression in my life personally and corporately with my partner in future. Big or small steps; the most important thing is to make those steps isn't it? And as we make those little steps; we will progress ultimately.

Attending a totally new cg for the past 3 months have truly enriched my life. I see things being done differently, right attitudes that I desire to have, the hunger for more of God even in the adults, a different leadership style and not to forget the numerous times we literally moved in the spirit!. At times, after cg when I reached home, though I might be physically drained out; but yet in my spirit, I am alive and have never been so alive before. The desire to pray, seek God and commune with Him still lingers within me. Truly, the last 5 mths of the year will be even a greater and more awesome one to come!.

Emotionally, I am truly blessed beyond what words can express. Really. The past 2 months have been great; and truly it had been awesome. To be able to find someone that you can communicate with is not easy; let alone to be able to share and express our thoughts seemed an impossible task at the start of this year. However, in the past 2 months, I have learnt that indeed God has the best in store for everyone of us. To the very special person; if you are reading this post now, just want to tell you that even though you always tell me that you are very blessed but you know something? I am even more blessed to know you and to be able to share my thoughts with you.

You are truly awesome!

To see the green light last night was truly awesome and lets continue to pray that this friendship will continue to move from glory to glory; strength to strength and faith to faith!

Financially, I am truly blessed too!..haha..bonuses and pay rises coming my way!..Praise God!

All in all, I just want to say: Thank God!

Awesome Weekend - Happy Birthday to you

2007-07-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to you.

Its been a truly awesome weekend celebrating your birthday with you over 2 days and as much as I enjoyed myself while preparing the gifts for the birthday, I truly hope that you have enjoyed yourself too!. Just want to say that it's been a honour and privilege to be able to celebrate your birthday with you and I thank God for sending you into my life!

Right now, I just want to tell you that you have been the best to me all these while and I've been really blessed!

Happy birthday to you!

30 days

2007-07-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

Today is a special day.

All in all, it's been a total of 30 days of interaction, prayers, sharing, laughing, crapping, joking, eating and bonding together. I want to say that I have really been truly blessed by all that has happened thus far and by seeing how in-sync we are together with His will just puts me at total ease every single time we talk. Blessed beyond words is the phase that I would use to describe the affinity between us and I thank God for using me to bless you too.

Without God, this wouldn't have been possible. Without discipline, this wouldn't be possible too. Without prayers, this would certaintly not be possible.

Although the day started off rather roughly today, faced with a possible confrontation with a BIG client today, I thank God that all things eventually worked out in a way that glorified His name!. Thank you for praying for me; I could literally sense His presence and peace in the meeting room earlier. :) The 'confrontation' eventually ended well with 2 solutions being proposed!. Praise God!

Even as the work day draws to an end in 15 mins, I just want to say "I am blessed". Truly and forever.

Keeping the vision and faith

2007-07-12T09:06:00.000+08:00

Love...and you shall be loved.

This is the message found inside my fortune cookie when I ate it in Feb during CNY at work. For many months since then, I have been waiting and waiting while giving my best shot at work, ministry, personal life, being the best I know how in many things that I do. A few days ago, I saw the slip of paper again and this time around, it reminded me of how God has been keeping the vision and faith Himself even when He cannot see it coming for me. His project.

Indeed, there are many things that I do not know but one thing I know; is to continue keeping the faith and vision in all things that He has given me. As I remain faithful in all things, then He will give the promotion and the desires of my heart to me.

Been sharing with her lately on my plans for the different aspects of my life and I feel that as we share and pray tog, there is a certain bonding happening between 2 individuals coming together in this time and season. I have also decided to shelve my desire to get a car for the next 3 - 4 years as I would need to seriously kickstart my savings plan asap. Is it difficult to give up this decision? U bet. But then again, I know that I am saving for something even more important than just 4 wheels and if God willing, I would like to have both at the same time.

I didn't give up to fight shadows. But I gave up my desire for the ultimate dream of all.

Just want to say; You are truly awesome and you are the best! :)

8 more days to go.

Weddings Galore!

2007-07-05T10:32:00.000+08:00

Ok, this weekend is going to be fun fun and fun!. 2 weddings to attend in total and both are very good friends of mine!. Attending weddings allow me to learn many things, see many things, to feel the emotions and to feel the joy as I see 2 individuals making a promise, a covenant to each other to remain faithful and to love each other no matter the circumstance. To take a step of faith and leap into the unknown world where 2 different characters will merge into one common identity. :)

Am excited to be part of the celebrations!

Had a very interesting conversation with her last night. Shared many things, performed over the phone a cross play, sung a song and the end result? Lotsa laughter errupting!..haha..but it was good..so good..and the best part? We ended in prayer! To pray for her is a honour and to be prayed for? Its a blessing. Thank you so much for being such a prayer warrior to me in my life!..I always believe that when 2 people pray together, there is strength and we are able to draw down His presence into our lives!..really awesome!..from glory to glory, strength to strength!

Once again, it has been an awesome day!

Assuming the mantle

2007-07-04T09:23:00.000+08:00

One day. Many valuable and priceless lessons learnt.

Truly, to assume the mantle of leadership in a friendship or relationship is never easy. It not only requires the person to desire to assume that responsiblity, but it also requires the person to be able to remain focused on the Blesser even when all things are prospering in his/her life. Desire alone is not enough because desire without discipline will result in undesirable consequences.

However, desire coupled with discipline will also mean that the pair can continue to grow and prosper in the current friendship and resultant relationship eventually. And when that happens and all things are made beautiful in His time, then I feel that the couple will then be able to appreciate the journey that they have made together isnt it?

You know, I know but most importantly God knows the desires of our hearts as we continue to press in and seek Him. Lets continue to move from glory to glory and from strength to strength ok? :)

It will work out to be good in His time. I am blessed beyond words to know you. :)

Maturity - Responsibility

2007-07-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Been pondering on this topic for a few days and thought that I can try to express my thoughts on it right here... :)

We all know that a person's maturity doesn't come with age alone, but with the acceptance of responsiblity. More of than not, its not a question of whether we know in our mind, but whether we are able to carry out or live out the right attitude we all know isn't it?. It's easy to act the part of being mature but when the rubber hits the road, then the true character will be shown forth. So what does it exactly mean to be able to ACCEPT responsiblity?'

To be responsible is to be answerable for the particular situation or consequence. Throughout the bible, we all can see clearly that people who accept responsibility always prosper but those who shrink away will nonetheless wither away. People like Esau who shrinked away from the responsiblity of protecting his birthright ultimately lost everything isn't it?. On the other hand, individuals like Abraham accepted the responsibility of upholding the vision that God gave him; to be a Father of many nations and he prospered; not just financially, but emotionally and spirtually too.

Like many of you, I used to think that maturity is automatic; used to think that it comes with age until I heard what Pst preached one day; that is:

MATURITY COMES WITH THE ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY.

Right now right here, I have many plans and ideas on my mind; coupled with my never ending wish list of desires, everyday just seems to be a mad-rush for me at times. To rush to work, rush to meet clients, rush back to work, type emails, consolidate reports, test files, meet clients, attend ministry practice, catch up with friends sometimes..the vicious cycle just continues. But whenever I take time off to pray, to cool myself down, to slow down and really pray and talk to God, the sense of peace just overwhelmed me so much that I always tear in His presence, amidst pressure pressure everywhere. I just simple dropped a tear and lift up everything unto His hands.

The fact of the matter is: God understands what you and I are going through right now and the best part is He is building us up every single day!.

Back to the topic of responsiblity, I have learnt over the course of a few months that if I want to mature, then I got to be able to accept responsiblity and shoulder it for the promises I made, for the comments I say and for the actions I portray. At work, home and in church. I have to be the same Glenn throughout and not have 3 different facades. Well, all I can say is that I am in the midst of improving and I am a Work in Progress. But nonetheless, I want to make it a habit that whenever I say yes to something, I must then ensure that I can see it out and complete the task of delivering a promise.

I view responsibility as part of being faithful. When we are responsible for the talents and gifts given to us, we are also being faithful in sowing the seeds that God has given to us isn't it? Thats why it is so important to cultivate the God-given talents that we have in our lives so that we can continue to glorify His name in the marketplace, at home and with our friends!!

The past few weeks have been truly truly tremendous and I just don't know what else to say but to thank God for all that He has done. To you, I just want to tell you that I appreciate you so much so much!...really had a great time fellowshipping with you and sharing on different topics that we talk about..hee...more than words can say, i just enjoy the time spent praying with you, for you too! :)

Last but not least, just want to say that lets continue to be faithful in all things and do the best that we can ok? Because when we do our best, pour out our faith to do all things, then God will handle the rest!

Take care and be blessed!

Weddings - Getting Married

2007-06-28T11:06:00.000+08:00

In the midst of work, let me take some time off to execute my faithful task of writing my 'dairy' daily. :) Been talking to close friends about the above topic recently for the past few months and as I talk to different ones, I always never fail to gain a different aspect of getting married and the preparations needed!. Just by talking and writing about it makes me feel excited already!..hahaah!...i think i am the only guy that get excited about marriage at a youthful age of 25 yrs old.

Anyway, allow me to share my 5 cents worth of thoughts. :)

Firstly, getting married requires the couple to have a strong financial base made up of savings, liquidable investments and stocks etc etc. To put it simply, if I can pay it off by cash, I will do that instead of running to a bank for loans. Of course, that might not be entirely possible given the amount of cash that the couple would need to have. The estimated amount needed for the entire wedding and home preparation is around SGD$80K. So if per say the couple plans to get married in 4 years time, then it would transalate to be a monthly savings of:

80000/(12*4) = $1700 per couple.

$1700/ 2 = $850 per person (assuming if the couple is ok with sharing the burden; else the man shld save in full).

This is calculated based on the current inflation rate and assuming that the prices of consumer items such as washing machine, refridgerator doesn't increase over the next 4 years. Please pardon me for my half baked financial analysis because I am trying my best to write one now..haha!.. :)

Secondly, getting married requires the couple to be secure emotionally. One of the main causes of a relationship breakdown is an over-controlling partner on either side. I personally feel that the best relationship that a person can enjoy with his/her partner is one that you know that you are not living your life or breathing your nexr breath because of the person alone but for a greater cause at large; eg: Living your destiny out for Christ. Being able to see the bigger picture in all situations often allow the individual to be able to take a step back and consider their next move carefully without rushing into making a decision.

Easier said than done but with practice, one can only get better at making wise decisions.

In order for the couple to feel secure, the centre of the relationship must always be Christ because it is basically the same approach for the other aspects of our lives isn't it?. Financial, Health, Spiritual; we are all able to make Him the centre of the various aspects, so why can't we make Him the centre of our relationship too?. I envision the day where I can pray with my girlfriend/wife over the phone or pray together because when you pray, you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilites in your spirit and allow yourself to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit again.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am really thinking too far ahead in this aspect but it never hurts to plan ahead isn't it?. Although I might be planning this alone now, I know and i know in my spirit that the day would come where I would sit down with my fiancee and plan through all the minor and major items on our marriage agenda checklist. To go through the renovation process of our flat, selecting furnitures, electrical appliances etc etc..its going to be so exciting! :)

Ok, but I still need to take ONE step at A time and to make every decision I make a wise one.

I am really enjoying the process right now of getting to know her better. Everytime we talk and share various things, its simply awesome and mind-blowing because we could just keep on going on sharing, chatting, sharing, chatting..haha...and for the first time, I prayed for her last night over the phone!..glad that the prayer went smooth and she was blessed!.

If you are reading this entry, just want to say that I really appreciate you for all you have done. Lets continue to encourage each other, be there for one another and continue to lift this friendship into His hands ok?. Because in due time and season, He will make ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL. :)

I am so blessed.

1Cor 13:4-7

2007-06-27T14:19:00.000+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Bandage on my wrist

2007-06-27T13:42:00.000+08:00

So here I am now..bandaged on my right wrist after visting the tie da doctor earlier today. As I walked up the creaky old stairs, its like deja vu!. Am reminded of the countless visits I made there as a child whenever I sprained my ankle or my elbow, I would be walking up that flight of stairs again!..hahaha...well, was quite accident prone last time because of my obesity..haha..thank God its the past!..and I am determined not to let that happen again. :)

Before the visit to the chinese sinseh, recieved an encouraging sms from her and chatted for a while over the phone..haha..juz felt that we always have endless topics to talk about..laugh and be silly over all the antics that will just pop up during our conversations. Right at this point, if you are reading, would like to say a BIG thank you for your constant encouragement, prayers towards and for me! :) I really enjoy chit chatting with you because I felt that we could relate to each other well and thats a great thing isn't it?!. :) I APPRECIATE you a lot a lot!

At the mid point of the day, just felt that God has been really really good to me!. Sometimes, I can be doing the simplest of things like taking a walk back from lunch and as I observe the people around me, all looking stressed and lost, I just feel like thanking God for all that He had done for me in the past 1 month or so. Even as my prayers are coming or have come to past one by one, I will not allow myself to be lifted by pride but continue to be humbled because without Him, I am just another individual in the society.

But with Him, all things can truly be possible!. If God can use me, why not you? To do well in life, be secure in your walk with Him and to know that all things will work out to be beautiful in His time. And everytime I feel that negative emotions are creeping up on me, I will visualise myself packing all of them into a closet and shutting the door real hard! Before giving that closet to God!..haha!... :)

Beyond all material desires and needs, all I want is You, Jesus. :)

Leap of faith!

2007-06-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

Until this morning, I am still battling with the idea to move to the better of the 2 options and leave where I am working. And all that continued until I buckled up enough courage to inform my new boss that I have made the decision to stay put with her team. Then all temptations to change my mind lost all control over me there and then.

I firmly believed that God will make every situation to go from glory to glory, strength to strength!. If you ask me, do I feel that its a wasted opportunity? Of course I do. I mean there might be even a chance that I am not converted to permanent next year because nothing in life is certain; except for His word and truth that we can stand upon it like a rock isn't it?. Thus, I refused to listen to my flesh and entertain negative thoughts about not gg for the better option. Because I know so long as I keep on keeping on, ALL things will work out to be beautiful and glorify His name!

In short, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain. My long term career plan is still intact and not to mention, the pay increment! :)

Truly, God is awesome friends. The peace that He places into my heart allows me to be composed even when the rest of the world is running mad. The wisdom that He places into me allows me to make right though it may be unpopular decision at times.

What else can I say? I am looking forward to resuming my new portfolio come Sep! :)

Now that my career path is settled for the next 1 yr at least, I can focus more on doing well at work, ministry and my personal life. 1 distraction down! :) Truly, let the end be more glorious than the beginning!. :)

Ministry wise, will be working on the proposed website this evening with my gp and to keep on churning out new cool funky designs!..haha..its not easy because we have to consider issues like if the youth likes the design, would it be too funky for the adults?...haha!..but so far, its been great!

Personal life wise, wil be working out the sums for a new car!..heh heh!..hahaha..if you have been following my blog entries since last year?..I have been always talking about getting a car..but its been all talk but no actions..now I can finally see it coming!. Besides the monthly payments that are manageable together with the petrol costs, there will be an insurance component that I would need to figure out too..but God is still awesome!

All in all, its been an awesome start to the week! :) Its been awesome to chat with you earlier! :) haha....

What an awesome weekend I had.

2007-06-24T15:03:00.000+08:00

Well, I have made the decision for my next career move. Although I had chosen the lesser of both, but ironically I felt the peace to make such a decision during cellgroup on fri night. Of course, on the surface, it may seem to be a foolish decision to make and reject such a huge increment, however I firmly believe in my spirit that it's another step that requires me to put in my faith and trust God that come next Feb, I will be converted to permanent and recieve another pay increment!. As I look back on the major decisions I had to make in the past 2 years for my career in general, it's always taking a step of faith and to keep trusting His leading that He will make all things beautiful in time to come!

1) Entering into a IT educator position after exiting my 1st job as a web designer

2) Venturing into the Banking industry after teaching IT for 2 years at a local sec school

3) Choosing the lesser of 2 options that will effectively determine the next 1 year of my career.

The beautiful thing is that I will not lose anything by choosing the lesser but God-directed option!. Throughout this entire process of praying through and choosing between the 2 options, I have learnt to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to feel the peace in my heart when making such a decision. Indeed, at the same time, I am also very humbled to be offered such an opportunity to join an established offshore bank with 67% increment. Really very humbled because I know that this is beyond my current capability and job scope.

With God, all things are possible. Without God in the picture, nothing is possible.

Ok now, what are the various things left on my agenda list? (not in order of preference or importance)

1) Establish a regular savings plan for the next 1 - 2 years for my marriage and MBA education

2) Purchase an Off Peak Daihatsu Sirion

3) Purchase new clothes for my wardrobe revamp

4) Jog and Swim twice a week to prepare for Stan Chart Marathon

5) Decide between a UOB or Citibank credit card by comparing the various product offerings

6) Finish the choir website asap!

7) Continue to lift up my friendship with her into His hands and continue to be faithful in the little things for this friendship

8) Continue to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to have a pure heart every single day by praying at least 45 mins daily.

9) Continue to submit my flesh, spirit and mind under His Lordship

10) Continue to bless my family members and friends

At this juncture, I just want to thank God once again for all the blessings that He has poured forth into my life; my career, financial and emotional blessings!. Truly, the end is going to be better than the beginning!

Am looking forward to the month of July because many wonderful things are happening!!. Haha!...really feel very excited!. Heya, if you are reading this entry now, just want to tell you that you can expect nothing but SURPRISES come that very special day!..haha!...hope you will like it too!. :)

Thats all I have to share nw...take care friends! :)

1st.

2007-06-19T13:48:00.000+08:00

It is only mid-day now but truly it had been an awesome day for me!..previously, I took part in a competition called the CEO Challenge where staff members are encouraged to proposed new ideas or processes to enhance the workflow within the bank. The scope of the idea is not limited as all staff were encouraged to participate. Thus, my colleague and myself wrote a short proposal report on how to improve one of our cash solutions that we are currently offer to our clients!. This is my first time participating in such a competition and although we didn't have any idea on how to better present our ideas, we thought that writing a report with suitable graphs and data would suffice.

Although the official selection has not been done for this competition, however God is always good amen?. In the few weeks that followed our submission, I got 1) a written testimonial from my department head 2) $100 TANGS voucher today!. Really, I just want to reiterate and say "God is truly awesome." I mean, who would have expected this? :) And I am truly humbled positively because of what had happened today. :)

In addition on top of that, my direct head asked me to give a short brief on the report that we have submitted shortly after recieving the prize. haha!..my first time addressing the entire department at large and although I was nervous, the Holy Spirit quickly calmed me down within seconds and I was able to give a fairly passable brief to everyone!..haha!..once again, God is truly very awesome!...the best part is: He still continues to work in your life and my life even when we cannot see it. :)

These past 1 week plus has been truly amazing and i can't stop giving thanks to Him for all that has happened thus far. I just want to say that I am really thankful and am really blessed by being able to know her!..haha..you know who you are..heee...i am really so blessed when you entered into my life!.. :) Thank you so much for all your encouragements!!!

I will keep on praying. Because 1Cor2:9 says:

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered the heart of man. The things which God has prepared for those who love Him".

Truly, it shall be from glory to glory, strength to strength. :) God bless u!

Attitude of Thanksgiving

2007-06-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

I have been using a different approach in praying lately; the past few days. In the past, I used to come before Him with all my desires ,needs, various prayer requests from different ones and for different ones. But I have realised and learnt that praying is not just putting forward your request. Praying is speaking to God. Praying is liken to breathing for our spirit man and hence we can simply conclude that prayers are important and critical!

The last few days, when I start to pray, I start with thanksgiving; Thanking God for all that He has done for me in my life, my family and loved ones. I thanked Him for the hedge of protection upon these precious people, favour of man, financial blessings, wisdom, peace ,happiness and all that He had poured forth into my family's lives and my life. And as I start to thank God, I could feel His presence in my room and it only encourages me to pray even more and press in! Praise God!.. :)

Truly, being able to give thanks is such an important part of prayers because we need to acknowledge His blessings not just in our hearts but verbally too!...to me, its the same as stating your desires because although God knows what you need, He need us to articulate and recieve by faith because if we can see it happening, we will recieve it! Amen!.

I am just so thankful for all that has happened to me lately!..whether is it at home, at work or my personal life..its all unfolding now..although small little steps at a time!..haha!...

God, thank you so much for being with me till today. I know that without You, I can't do anything but with You, truly all things are possible. :)

Still praying!

So much to say...

2007-06-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

Today had been an awesome day. Right now, I am still trying to figure how can I start to share my experiences today here on my blog. No matter how, I will try my best to convey my thoughts ok?.. :)

Firstly, I shared my testimony for the first time on stage today during choir practice!...had been sharing in the past few times but it was all from where I am seated during the practice alone. Today, just taking the step of faith to go up on stage and share using the mic was already a milestone. Although I wasn't very eloquent in sharing and didn't prepare my testimony on paper, but I did the best I know how and really hope that the people who heard my sharing will be truly blessed. One thing I know, I will be sharing more and more testimonies in the days and months to come! :). In fact, one friend came up to me after service earlier and told me that she was really blessed by my sharing!..Praise God!.

Secondly, during the choir practice, sis belle told us to pray and speak a word of season to one another; in other words to exercise our gifts given by God. Both mike and myself started praying and took turns to speak to each other. I am really thankful that God spoke a word of season through mike into my life and the word was "peace". I needed to be guided by the peace of God in my life on a daily basis and use this "peace" to make the decisions I am supposed to make. I am throughly blessed by this word that God spoke into my life!..and its exactly what I have been praying for the past few days!.. :)

Lastly, as it is commonly said "leave the best to the last"..so this would be the BEST thing that has happened to me todaY!..HAHAHA!...well, finally i got to meet you today after service and can i just say that you are simply stunning!!!..i am really very very very happy because we finally met today...and you are just as beautiful as your words and I am simply left speechless..haha!..noticed that I am using "you" instead of "her"?..because I am writing this para directly to you!..hmm...although we only met for a brief 10 mins but I am really very happy!!... :) :)

Hope you have enjoyed reading this post as much as I have enjoyed writing it. And yes, I will wait, no matter how long it takes. :)

You know its you.

2007-06-14T13:30:00.000+08:00

There is going to be a major change in my life and the next 1 month is pretty much going to be determining for the next few years of my life. I have to pray through and make sure I make a right decision because I know God only has the best in store for me. And He only wants the best for me; and you. Right now right here, I am kinda 'speechless' because of what was revealed to me earlier.

Just want to say that He is always faithful and good!..even when we cannot see it happening at times..i almost thought that it's not going to happen but it was all revealed today!..Praise the Lord!..still have to go for another meet-up before things are more or less tie up..haha..:)

At this moment of time, even as I stand at the threshold of a new chapter in my life, I am still praying that I would be able to share it with the someone special..to be able to bring her out for dates..dinners..take endless strolls along the beach.. :)..just like my career, I am fully convicted nw that He only wants the best for me and He already has someone in store for me. I have to remain faithful in keeping on and refused to be discouraged from time to time. It's not up to me to say if I am ready or not, but I can safely say that I am more ready now than 1 yr ago; emotionally, spirtually and financially.

I would love to see that day come where I can gaze at her eyes and say "I love you dear." :)

2007 - 2012

2007-06-13T11:28:00.000+08:00

A few things persistently on my mind nowadays:

1) Work issues

2) Choir website

3) Getting the new Suzuki SX-4

4) Jogging and Swimming

5) Caring for my family and loved ones.

6) Catching up with close friends

7) Securing a job promotion and pay raise!

8) Shining for God through my life.

As I grow older, my perspective changes bit by bit and it becomes a huge change after sometime. Gone are the childish days of puppy love, crushes, wishful thinking but now welcome to the new era of work-work-ministry-car..haha!...well, i am much clearer now as to what I am working towards right now right here.

Just had a talk with my dept head over my career prospects and now still pending to talk to the sub team head in charge of the team i am intending to move to..really thank God for His peace and wisdom and favour that is upon me ever since day 1 with the bank. :)

A man stable in all ways is an attractive man.

Right now, I am just enjoying my life to the max while shining for Him in the marketplace. By faith, I recieve that I can give a tithe of 500 monthly one day!..and I know with Him, all things are possible..haha...still on my way there and if I can see it, i will have it.

Money/Finances is not everything but it detemines up to 90% of the outcome of your life.

As I keep on keeping on, I will reach the top ECHELEON of my industry, the peak of my marriage and have the best relationships with my loved ones. :)

Untitled

2007-06-08T11:12:00.000+08:00

I went to cellgroup last night, excited having a great testimony to share but I was jaded. But it's really a blessing to be able to attend and make it for cellgroup because its simply awesome! Glory to Glory, Strength to Strength!

As Evelyn gave a word of season during the cg, it really impacted me because its about Waiting upon Him and for Him to tell us when to move and where to head to next. As she was sharing the word, I teared because I know I am not fully obedient to Him in this area yet and have much more to improve. Really, its not about just being impacted and impressed, but how do we continue from there and how different do we live our lives?

Seriously, I have been trying but many times I feel like a total and complete failure in that sense. 2 different aspects of my life, 2 very constrasting results right now. For my career, I waited upon Him patiently, prayed for openings and it came! I mean if you have 3 different opportunities coming to you in less than 2 months, without you applying for any position in particular prior to that, it got to be His hand moving right?. In that sense, God came true for me because simply I waited upon Him.

For my emotional life, it has been ups and downs as usual and many a time, I meet different ones who I felt had the potential to go further than just friends and many times it didn't work out. From all the past experiences, I have learnt not to trust my own feelings because its so deceptive. In the past 2 months, I have learnt to take things slow and allow Him more room to move in this aspect of my life. But still, I feel that I have not waited enough upon Him.

I am still praying and waiting, praying and waiting, seeking and finding.

Because I know He has the best in store for me.

where are all the funky tees?

2007-06-05T14:03:00.000+08:00

Tried hard to shop for new funky tees but couldn't find any. Before Emerge, During Emerge and yea After Emerge.

Went to Bugis, HMV, SKIN , EDHARDY and many other dept stores but just can't find something that caught my eye. So I concluded that when we DON'T intend to shop, we see clothes aplenty full. But the moment we decide to BUY something, it all dissappears..haha!..

Anyway, as I was shopping, I realised that I have also matured in the way I select my buys. Gone are the days that I will buy something because its branded but now I will consider the cut, design, colour, material etc etc..haha!..sometimes we just mature unknowingly isn't it?..hahaha...

If I am attached today, I will be telling all that I blog to my beloved. haha!..

Anyway, I have decided to get 2 more pairs of TRUE RELIGION jeans by yr end!..wOooo..LOVE THEIR CUT!.

I just loveeeeeee shopping...don't u? :)

Readiness

2007-06-04T13:21:00.000+08:00

The past 1 week or so, I have been sporadically pondering on this topic; getting myself ready for what God is going to do/is doing in my life. Many a times, we get so busy with our daily work routine, home affairs and personal ad-hocs that we totally miss out on what God is trying to do/say in our lives isn't it?.

Being a typical working young adult, my weekdays revolves around mainly work; for 8-9 hours per day and family time at night. By the time I get home, I would be usually tired and exhausted to do anything else. As such, my night hours are usually UN-PRODUCTIVE. On 2 weeknights, I would attend ministry practice or bible study and cell group meetings. Those are brief reprieve moments where I can catch up with friends and more importantly, meet God and get refreshed. My point is that can't we structure our life the other way around? Instead of allowing tiredness and fatigue determine what we have to do, can't we pre-set in our minds that we want to be an overcomer of fatigue, tiredness, heat and perspiration to continue to maintain our productivity levels?

And of course, the answer is a resounding YES!

Now. The bottomline is that we have to be ready at all times and right now, I am too going through of a season of getting ready and being constantly broken by God emotionally, physically, spiritually. And I am determined in my heart, mind and soul to keep on keeping on. Yes, I will go through times where I will be out alone but this will only train me to appreciate my next and last relationship even more when it eventually comes isn't it?. Everytime when I come before God, I want to be able to say "God, you can use me". Not just by faith, but because I am equipped to be used by Him.

Just amazes me how a person's mentality can change after constant breaking by God. I am convicted of the fact that the more broken we are, the more sensitive we can be to the leading of the Holy Spirit and ultimately we can become a more fruitful person in Christ.

Being at 25 yrs old, I am in another transition stage of my life. Not really a youth anymore but not really an adult yet. Thats y I am in the preparation stage for all aspects of my life. Learning how to manage my emotions, finances, talents, time and health are all important skills that I have to acquire. And acquire it fast!

Really want to thank God for everything that He has done in my life because even when I am at the lowest darkest pit of sin, He still chooses to use me and say that I am the apple of His eye with zero condemnation. As I continue to grow and shut the door on the face of sin every single day of my life, I hope to become a more effective Christian in the marketplace and at home.

I didn't had the perfect start to my life here on Earth.

I didn't had a perfect expressive loving family to start off with.

I struggled with low self esteem and weight problems as a youth.

But yet, if God can use me, He can use you too.

I hope that you too will be ready when God asks you to rise up and take a new challenge in your life.

God bless!

Emerge 2007 Takeaway

2007-06-03T17:00:00.000+08:00

A takeaway is something that you have learnt from a particular event; and in this case, its emerge 2007.

The testimony that impacted me the most was the one shared by Liu Geng Hong yesterday. As he was having a Q & A session, one of the question is "How do you, as an artiste resist and overcome the temptations in the media industry?" His answer was simply; "When you know that God will provide you with the best, you will not settle for second best"

Until that point, I was not fully convicted of what I always knew it to be true. That God can and will provide us with the best. So why settle for second best? Average?

Went to serve earlier for session 7 and I just totally enjoyed the entire session!. Felt refreshed, recharged and most importantly, ready for a new week ahead of me!

Beyond what I can say or words can express, remember that YOU alone can make a difference in your world!

God bless!

My First Love - Jesus

2007-06-03T01:09:00.000+08:00

Emerge 2007 is very different from last year because I felt personally that the entire church with Pst Kong flowed more in the spirit this year. I throughly enjoyed it to the max! Especially tonight's message!. The core of the message is to remember your first love and the very first time that we gave our hearts to Jesus. Although I was very tired physically after attending the various sessions the past 2 days, this message totally broke me from inside out!

Before I continue, let me briefly share what else happened during the session:

1) Liu Geng Hong proposed to Vivi Wang, his girlfriend of 7 years! (yea, in front of the entire congregation!)

2) The entire church celebrated SUN's bday and prayed for her!

3) Pst Kong was so touched when we celebrated SUN's bday that he almost teared. (I was so moved by the entire proceedings that I teared too)

4) A video of SUN's charity work in North Asia was screened and everybody was touched by the tangible presence of God.

5) The entire church prayed for SUN's new manager too!

Ok, as I was saying, the message is about remembering your first love - Jesus and how we first gave our hearts to Him. For me personally, I can vividly remembering how I was called to the choir ministry 6 years ago. I was taking bus 51 home from our old church at Katong and as I was seated on the upper deck, God spoke to me in a clear voice saying "Glenn, I want you to sing for my people." As I had low self esteem back then, my initial reaction was one of shock, surprise and rejection. I remembered saying in reply "But God, I can't sing at all.."

But God reiterated and told me the same thing again that He wants me to sing for His people. Holding on to that conviction, I went for the choir audition and praise God, I got it on my first attempt!. My main pt is that when God gives you a calling for something, whether is it a ministry or in your personal walk, He will make sure that you are equipped to make it come to past. Whether it happens or not is entirely up to the person though; because we all have a choice to make at a point of our lives isn't it?. And when the rubber hits the road and tough times arrive, you will be able to hold on to your convictions and continue to pursue that purpose that God has placed in your life.

You will not waver whenever trouble approaches because you know that you got into that calling based on His merit and grace. :)

6 years on, I am still in the choir ministry and although I have not made 100% use of my 6 years so far to accomplish the maximum, I am determined to makeup for lost time to continue to develop my 1 talent and be a blessing to the people around me!. There were times that I went through in my life, stressed up and pressed on everyside, but as I stepped into my calling and served weekly, I was not only refreshed but recharged in my visions too!.

All in all, I have closed the door to all past problems, depression and worries because in Christ, there is no turning back.

Take care and God bless u!

Know what you want.

2007-05-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

Knowing what you want is the first step.

Getting what you want is the second step.

But knowing and getting what He wants for you is the ultimate step.

Many of us are stuck at getting what we want personally and hence we go through times of indifference and discouragement; and when that happens, we turn around and ask God "Why like that?" "I thought?..."..am feeling a little unsettled now because of the offer made a few days ago. In fact, I was feeling very restless today at work and at the end of all, I rebuked myself and told my flesh to shut up and continue mugging. Because the flesh is behaving in a very ungrateful manner; instead of focusing on glorifying God with excellent results at work, I wandered off track, thinking of how good life would be if I am earning that much and so on.

My career with HSBC is not an accident for sure. Because I prayed and after 1 interview, it came to past. Right now, the dilemma in front of me is whether has or is this season going to end soon? Only time can tell so I cannot afford to be unsettled now!. Besides, the other party hasn't contacted me as yet. Why am I getting so excited for what?.. :(

As you can see, I am still learning on how to be sensitive to His leading and in many ways, I am a work in progress. Period. As a matter of fact, because we are Christians and hence we cannot or we can no longer live or make decisions like a non-christian because every time we try to go off track, our internal HSPS (Holy Spirit Positioning System) will alert and prompt us isn't it?.

So yea of course I want to earn $X by year end and I know its possible.

But I need to pray and pray effectively.

On the flip side, realised that I have gained weight!. Sigh. Due to the lack of discipline and total abandonment of the jogging routine explains the shape I am in now. I have to get back to shape fast! Or face the consequences of being lethargic at work.

Extra Weight -> Being Lethargic at work -> Below Average Performance -> No promotion -> Cannot glorify His name.

See the linkage. Yup, so I will restart my jogging routine tonight! Hope my feet doesn't hurt before I run.

Take care peeps. :)

And Suddenly...

2007-05-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

A close neighbour that I used to greet every morning passed away last friday.

He was 50 and was a very healthy person for his age.

Thankfully, he was a believer and now he is in a better place.

But I could see a distinct difference between a christian wake and a non christian wake; there is that serenity and peace that surrounds a christian wake and yes though people are sad especially the closest loved ones and yes they are sobbing but you know that they have not lost all hope because they know where he has went to.

Made me realised that life could be so short.

Treasure your everyday even though it may seem to be yet another day my friends.

Partner Criterion

2007-05-24T15:59:00.000+08:00

My partner would be someone that is:

1) Fun-Loving, Caring and Expressive

2) Loves God and serves Him using her talents.

3) Has a Focused and Driven personality.

4) Be Kind hearted and be sensitive enough to the needs of the people around her.

5) Beautiful

6) Love having kids

7) Loves to share her thoughts with me

8) Loves exercising

9) Sensual

10) Faithful

I won't expect to find someone that has all 10 attributes that I have listed out so far. Neither is this list the minimum requirements of what I am looking for. They are just preferred attributes that I would like my wife to have. It's often said that you have to be a person of that character before you can find one so this is an evaluation of myself at this present moment:

1) Fun-Loving, Caring and Expressive - Caring only. Not that Fun-Loving or Expressive
2) Loves God and serves Him using her talents. - Love and Serving God but can still be better with talent mgmt
3) Has a Focused and Driven personality. - Driven personality but not focused enough
4) Be Kind hearted and be sensitive enough to the needs of the people around her. - Overlooked needs at times.
5) Beautiful - Not the best looking guy around.
6) Love having kids - Like mixing around with kids if they behave themselves. haha!
7) Loves to share her thoughts with me - Like to share my inner thoughts with close friends.
8) Loves exercising - Jogging and Static Exercises are my main forms of activity.
9) Sensual - Like atmospheric places with appropriate chill out music
10) Faithful - Improved from the past.

On a different note, something awesome happened yesterday! I went to meet a client to conduct the routine training for a personal client at his home and he actually gave me a lift to and fro Republic Plaza (where he works) in his BMW 520!..haha!..hmm i like the driving feel of a 520 because it's so powerful!..the way he overtakes the traffic is simply undescridable.haha!..anyway back to the awesome thing that happened. As we were on our way back, he actually told me that I can just inform him if I want to leave my current job! Anytime!

Seriously speaking, I was stunned because he works for an investment bank that only handles top tier clients.

Thank God for His favour of men that is upon me! Amen!

And you know what I replied? I said "Thank you for the offer and I will let you know in due time."..haha!..sound so zuai right?..haha..but i was really stunned la..haha..

Just amazed at how doors can be opened everywhere recently. I mean what I did was just to faithfully tithe and give my offerings weekly and could see signs of abundance everywhere! Thank God!. I could remember that in the past, whenever I give my offerings during service, am always challenged to give the biggest note in my wallet. And each time I gave, just felt the pinch but nonetheless, mustered all my courage and just gave! Truly, as we put His kingdom first, He will put our lives first. As a priority.

Till now, I am still amazed. In fact, spoke to the client earlier and asked if I could send him my resume soon. And he said "Why not? Sure!". Awesome la..really awesome stuff.

Still waiting for my interview results with a local bank but will also apply for this position in the investment bank as well. :)

This season is getting more and more defined with each passing week and the direction is clearer and clearer. I think or guess that God is preparing me and settling my life first before He introduces my future partner into the picture. :)

All in all, I just want to say that I am truly humbled by the open doors that He has opened in my life.

Never thought I would work in a bank firstly. Let alone an investment bank. :)

And I believe by faith that I will have a beautiful, caring and spiritual wife in the near future!

God, I love you.

Few. Far. Between.

2007-05-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

Few and Far Between I would say.

Words that express my heart today.

Patiently waiting day after day,

Sometimes I just want to shout "heh!"

I don't want to remain like this.

And therefore I am still waiting.

And waiting.

I no longer depend on myself,

Because I have reached the end of self.

It's no longer I who lives.

But He who in me live.

I feel that my life is starting a new chapter,

But who shall be in this chapter?

Friends, I really do not know.

Not even a single hint or clue you know.

But no matter what the outcome is,

I will soldier on.

Not for me but for Him.

I shall decide to live and fight another day.

The BIG I

2007-05-21T13:27:00.000+08:00

Yea. My title says it all doesn't it? Haha...

Just went for it during lunch and have mixed feelings after the interview. All went well but the interviewer doesn't seemed to be v pleased and satisfactory with some of my answers. But the aftermath feeling is still positive and I am still hoping and praying for the best.

Scope wise; it's pretty much what I am doing nw currently except that its a P job and the renumeration WILL be higher than my current drawn one. :) Working hours mentioned are pretty alright; just that i would need to work alternate saturdays but its a good location. Away from the hustle and bustle of city life. :) Back to the heartlands.

Anyway, the overall vibe is still positive and good.

Praying for the best as I will know in 2 weeks time. :)

Do keep me in prayers. Thanks!

Carrying the Burden

2007-05-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

Right now, I am feeling burdened. Have a few things on my mind to pray for, not just for myself but for my family as well. Sometimes, I feel that I am too timid to engage in terms of praying when I am at home. I have always been comfortable praying for my family but its only sometimes that I will muster enough courage to pray WITH them. Felt challenged in this area; in fact very challenged to pray WITH my family members and I know that its time to step up to the plate. Now is the time.

Just want to share something. Being a christian is not just a name. or reputation you carry. It is a lifestyle and yes I heard this long time before but it's only recently that it became more and more obvious to me. It's a total all rounded lifestyle that a person is living out. Not just putting up an act on thursday and weekends. I used to have such a mentality that church is church and life is still life. But as I am more and more convicted of the opposite, I am more burdened now than ever. However, this burden is light and is easy to carry because ultimately its not what I can do but what He can do through me. Easy statement it seems but really to live out this conviction takes a lot of sacrifice and humbling of one-self.

To not move when you can.

To not say something when you can.

To have to do something in an inconvenient situation.

To decide whether to step up to the plate or not.

To allow His wisdom to guide the timing of our actions.

To continously allow His peace to fill our hearts.

You know something? I realised that I have always been deluding myself, decieving myself at times, using hype as a base to build my life and walk with God. I have always been so mindful of what other people will think or say or react if I were to act against the norm. Maybe its the upbringing I had. But today's svc totally changed my perceptions of Jesus and a Christian life. I want to live a life that passses the test of the Christian MRI machine.

Being impacted by a sermon is one thing. To see your life change is another. Both are not linked. Because one happens instanteneously and the other requires daily reminders to want to see your life change. I was impacted today but I want this impact to last for as long as it can. Seriously.

Remember what I shared previously about knowing the will of God through the positives coming to past in your life? I reflected upon it and realised that it's so true that for everything, there is always a season and time for it. For instance, I wouldn't have recieved the job offer if its not the season to move. Of course, this is not 100% true but what I am saying is that you get an indication/idea of what is His will. :)

So many things are happening and thank God; most of them are great!.

I have decided that I will step up to the plate. :)

God bless you!

Waves of Blessings - 19 May

2007-05-19T11:30:00.000+08:00

Hi friends,

Psalm 51:17 - THE SACRIFICES OF GOD ARE A BROKEN SPIRIT. A BROKEN AND A CONTRITE HEART - THESE, O GOD, YOU WILL NOT DESPISE.

last night's cg was awesome!. truly awesome!!. Last week, we learnt that as we sow finances into the building fund and time into our ministry, we must also not forget to position ourselves to recieve the blessings that are to be poured forth into our lives. During worship last night, I was in tears because I could feel the peace that was in me, that I should just for the interview on Monday, knowing that my steps are ordered by Him and Him alone.

The past 7 months was truly amazing and I have learnt so many things, many of them tangible and intangible, but both are equally priceless!. Of course, there will be an issue to be resolved because my contract is not completed yet. However, I know that He will show me the way. As always. :)

The offered position is very much what I have been praying for. Not only it's a permanent position, it is also a manager position!. Wow!..and its a position that services relationship managers. So in other words, it's a position that will lead to being a RM!. :) Praise God for His provision!.

Ok, I have not been offered the position yet. But its an immediate vacancy so please keep me in prayers ok?

Thanks Thanks!

Going to be a hectic weekend ahead!..serving today, tommorow and for prayer meeting tommorow. Though its going to be stretching, but when we reached the end of ourselves, that's where God starts. Isn't it?

I hope you enjoyed reading and the song by Shun Zi in the background. :)

Choir Pract - 16 May 07

2007-05-17T12:52:00.000+08:00

Hey hey..

hope you guys are doing just fine..juz had lunch and am gg out later!..for a client visit..at tuas..haha..before heading for cg tonight..hope i can have time to go home and shower so that i will be fresher but will have to see the time that i end..haha!!

Choir Practice last night was great!..and for the first time, the BVs joined us in full force! and we also prayed for felicia as she will be leaving for an overseas assignment..when you witness how so many successful Christians can be so humble when it comes to sharing their testimony, it always makes me feel that I have a lot more to improve on in this area so that I can come to a point where I can be totally broken in spirit towards Him. Indeed, choir isn't about an individual's desire to sing, BUT whether do you have the desire to serve the people around you.

It took me a while to warm up to the friendly games atmosphere last night as I was totally drained but I did enjoy the latter part of the practice though. It's all about settling my heart and being prepared to CONTRIBUTE to the practice than to just attend it. I hope I can contribute more next week. :)

Had a prompting in the spirit during lunch earlier. What I felt was: the very menial tasks that we are exposed to daily could be the foundation of our future tommorow. That's why it is so important to ensure that you live up to aim for the best in everything you do because it could either form or destroy your foundation tommorow. Scary but true isn't it? No one likes the tedious journey but if you realised when you complete a tough project and look back, you realised that it isn't so difficult after all. Because 1) He is with you and 2) you have overcome the problem. So my encouragement to you is that no problems are unsolvable. There are only short and long term problems that require more time to resolve. :)

2 more months to Kei's engagement and ROM! Really excited bout it! In fact, she is my FIRST same age FRIEND who has got engaged and this is the FIRST ROM that I will attend. Really happy for her because she is very blessed to know Caleb and vice versa. Although we do have quarrels from time to time, but I just want to tell you Kei that I really treasure this friendship! :)

How would my ROM be like? Hmm...I like Chijmes's airconditioned hall and Sentosa's Cafe Del Mar the most!. One is a city location that is central so that it would be convenient for all attendess and the other is a unique beach casual wear event!..wOooo!..haha..to me, its 50-50 la..so up to my wife to decide in future..haha!..then again, ROM and wedding dinners are only events to me. What is important is the journey after that. How do you sustain and continue to fall in love with your partner MORE and MORE each day? That is the critical part that we need to be able to acheive!.

Right now right here, I need to continue to strive and adopt an excellence attitude in everything I do!

This is what I hope to acheive before my ROM:

1) Stable Career

2) Stable and Secure walk with God

3) Car

4) 5 figure savings

5) Immense Emotional Security

6) Good health.

Lastly, I know that you are somewhere out there now. Just want to say that I will love you till eternity.

Cya!

Another day @ work

2007-05-16T15:01:00.000+08:00

Been a very busy and hectic 2 days so far since yesterday. But I am glad I was maxed out.

Managed to resolve the blogger issue!..haha..I did some research online and found out that it's due to the manual proxy that we have to set in IE!. so if you are facing the same problem, just tagged me and I will email you the steps alrighty?

Anyway, I feel that personally I have changed ever since entering the banking industry; the intensity of the work, the complexity of dealing with different types of people and the level of professionalism that is prevalent in the corporation has indirectly affected and influenced how I think and precieve. I am really thankful that I was given this opportunity to work here and to learn from so many people who are much experienced that I am.

In this industry, I have seen many people who have given a good part of their lives to the bank and at the same time, to build their careers in many different aspects. More often than not, as a result, their personal lives have also been impacted; good and bad. When I see individuals like this, I can't help to feel and ask myself if I would be like one of them in the next 5 years. Of course, it's easy to say that I want to be successful, but success comes with a price always. Isn't it?

The price of sacrificing your time

The price of health

The price of companionship

The price of ministry.

Yet, not all is lost. We can all afford to be better planners, better managers of our time such that lesser things are compromised in the long run. I would love to be able to do that.

Had dinner with a colleague last night and I really thank God for the glowing reviews I recieved last night. If it's not for His strength and wisdom, I wouldn't be able to settle well into the banking industry and let alone do well in it.

5 more months to go and it would be the end of a year. How would my life have changed? And what would I have taken away from this journey?

So many things to ponder ah? :)

Sometimes, I would just slipped into the rewind mode and think about those days again..especially after work. But more often than not, I would remind myself to snap out of it and come back to reality. Watched a show last night and really like what one of the quotes they used: "Unless you are ready to love, love would always elude you."

So true isn't it? I discovered recently that all along, I have been living in the past subconsciously. Living on past memories, past successes, past victories have been the mode of my life that I have gotten used to. In order to recieve new victories, I got to let go of my past.

Who doesn't have a chequered past?

Who does'nt have a disgraced and failed past?

But I have learnt and recently am convicted that it's not the past that matters because it can no longer affect your decisions presently and let alone your future. It's the decisions you make today and tommorow that will affect your life in the next 5-10 years. :)

I am thankful for a very good friend; Tisha and all the memories that we shared in the past.

I am thankful for close friends like Cuiqi and Jinzhi who have pretty much seen everyside of me.

But as I press on to the future, believing for a GREAT career, a STRONG walk with God and THE blessed relationship, I got to let go and let God take control in every situation of my life.

If you are reading this post now, I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way in the past and please do forgive me if I have hurt you previously.

On this note, I shall end this post. Am going for pract now..going to be a long night ahead and I will enjoy it!

Take care!

Ramblings

2007-05-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps,

thanks for all of your concern!. I am much better off now as compared to the last blog entry. :)

Been trying to blog for the past few days but my IE at home displays the Blogger page with errors and such I can't blog from home. Think would need to sort out this problem asap!

In the past few days, have sorted out my thoughts and basically I would focus on the following areas of my life:

1) Family Relations

2) Helping out in CG

3) Serving in Choir

4) Excel at work

It did took me some time to not only realise this but to be convicted of it. I found out that the only way I can be self motivated to do something is to be convicted of it so here I am.

Of course, the desire remains strong but it's all in His hands from now on.

Had a great dinner with e322 peeps on saturday night and it's been a long time since I had such great fellowship! Thanks guys!

Anyway, a new week in many things for me; new choir setup, new cg, new possibilities to explore.

7 more months to go till Dec 07 and I will make this year count.

Hopefully it will not be only 'I' but 'We' by year end. :)

The end of the road.

2007-05-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the end of the road of faith for me.

I poured out every ounce of faith I had and believed that it will happen.

Furthermore, everything was pointing towards the bright side so I firmly believed in this cause.

But, it was not to be.

Everything ended with a phone call and once again, I was portrayed as the one who had made a mistake in the first place. Well, I just want to say that it takes 2 hands to clap and make a sound so if a sound was made, surely it cannot be just 1 hand hitting the air right?

Devastated. Broken. Hurt.

I was so taken aback that after I ended the call, couldn't even think properly for about 20-30 mins. Until I decide to break the news to Justin. And even then, I couldn't shed a single tear, even though I was hurting so much on the inside.

Choir practice was my saving grace. I bit my lips and attended pract as usual and pretended nothing has happened. Went through the songs and learnt 2 new songs but as soon as we started to learn the worship song, the presence of God came so strongly that I started to tear..a trickle at a time..tried hard to conceal and managed to do so..until we worship and lingered in His presence..I just wept and wept somemore till I was still shaking but my tears ran dry.

I tried, prayed and believed but it failed.

But still God is always good. I am tired.

Cya.

Blog Survey

2007-05-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Intrapersonal Intelligence

Reflective and thoughtful, you enjoy spending time alone.
You are good at analyzing yourself - and knowing your true feelings.
Totally self aware, you are in tune with your dreams and desires.
A spiritual and philopsophical person, your inner calmness inspires and helps others.

You would make a great philosopher, researcher, or theorist.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

The vision of my future part 2.

2007-05-09T13:18:00.000+08:00

Without a vision, we will perish. It's true for everyone; whether you are a Christian or not.

So here is my vision for the next 5 years:

I envision myself to be a Manager/Assistant Vice President in an offshore bank by 2012; earning min 60K per year.
I am staying in a four room flat in a central district.
I am driving a Japanese sedan.
I am serving as a BV every weekend in church.
I am a cell group leader.
I am able to go for 2 mission trips (Jun & Dec) yearly.
I am able to hold one Citibank Clear Card.
I am married; with 1 child at least.
My parents and at least 1 sibling are saved.
I am healed of any lingering skin allergies and problems.
I have a walk in wardrobe for my wife and I in our bedroom.
My wife and I have a 5 digit combined cash savings.
My wife and I don't have any bad debts.
I pray for 2 hours daily.

If I can see it, I will have it. And yes, I have claimed the relationship by faith!

Still waiting.

Waiting in Progress

2007-05-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps,

Just went to get my first pair of adidas football boots, shin guard and socks today!..haha..professional ah..first time in a long time that i am involved in such a tournament so must prepare well..but of course need to go jogging to get myself fit again..haha...match day is on 26th May..wooo.. :)

Today is Day 2 and I am still praying for it to come to past..anxious?..a little..but I was reminded of a verse in the bible that says:

Phil 4:6 (NKJV) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God

Amazing! Because as I was walking home last night..this verse prompted me in my spirit and I was encouraged!. Yes, doubts do remain in my mind but..I insist to believe by faith and thank Him for the relationship by faith!..when we can see it..we will indeed have it!..throughout this journey, I am blessed to be taught by some strong Christian friends and hence gained many different valuable aspects of viewing a relationship and knowing that entering a relationship is not an end in itself.

It's the seeing through of the entire relationship on a daily basis that is crucial but often missed out.

So yes I am still waiting. But God is always good and His promises are Yes and Amen!

Back to the various projects and goals I listed previously, one of which is to complete my MBA program in 2 - 3 years time..as I checked on the various options locally..I realised that most of them require work experience of at least 3 years..hmm..am i too young to do a MBA?...I must continue to seek Him to know His will!..

Going for pract tmr night..and cg on thurs night..so I will go jog tonight!!

My future is secure; in fact VERY secure with Him. :)

That is a bonus of being a Christian isn't it?

Be commited to one cause. Never waver.

My prayers answered!

2007-05-07T08:41:00.000+08:00

I am 30 years old and here I am standing on the stage to give my personal testimonial.

Trembling as I am, having butterflies in my stomach, a hand clutched onto mine firmly and a comforting gaze into my eyes eased all tensions and anxiety. "You can do it dear." "Take a deep breath and start off to share our testimonial k?" And I shared mine and she shared her testimonial too.

As we end off our testimonial sharing, the partisan crowd of 10,000 people applauded and cheered like never before.

This is my vision of my relationship in the next 5 years with you.

It's amazing how things can unfold in the last 3 days since Saturday night when the question was finally popped by my leader and yup, my prayers were answered and I am just awaiting confirmation from her now. Whether it comes to past or not, it's really in His hands but I am still 'recovering' from the aftermath of Saturday night. In fact, couldn't really sleep well last night after the reality sunk in as I shared my testimony with Ah Zhi. Truly Awesome stuff and the most awesome thing is that there is no pressure right now at all.

Because all I can do is to pray and keep praying and keep believing by faith that it's all going to happen and unfold one event at a time.

When it's all confirmed, you can be sure that I will be first to share the news here and via sms together with some photos if possible!

Right now, I would like to thank 3 individuals who have made a difference in my life in the past few months.

1) Iris - Thank you so much for your leadership and guidance in the past 4 years! You have been a great example of servanthood and leadership to me personally! Thank you for lending me a listening ear when I was down and depressed. Thank you for your encouragement and last but not least, thank you for always believing in me!

2) Kei - No word/words can describe my gratitude towards you. As a classmate and friend, you brought me to Christ. As a discipler and friend, you showed me how a true believer should stand by their convictions and maintained a Christ-like attitude in all circumstances. As a confidante, you have always been there for me and as I recall my last 6 years, there is seldom a phase of my life that you were missing from it!. You have seen my tears and my ups/downs throughout the past 1.5 years. Although we are no longer in the same cellgroup anymore, I hope that I can serve together with you as leaders in the near future!

3) Zhi - You're truly awesome man. Though I have only known you for the past 3 - 4 years, you have always gave words of wisdom every single time. You've also shown me that with God, nothing is truly impossible! In addition, your generousity and equal treatment of everyone has also convicted me of many things that I have failed to take note of. You've been more than a friend and brother to me. You have been a leader and someone that I can always look up to when I am lost. To have recieved a word of affirmation from you last night was just mind blowing but yet humbling. It's like putting a stamp on a long over-due letter. Thank you for every single thing that you've sown in my life and may our friendship last not just a lifetime but for ETERNITY.

There are many other close friends that I would like to shout out to! Thank you so much for your constant encouragement for the past 1.5 years!

Moving forward, I have 10 other targets that I would need to plan for in the few months or so:

1) Start on a MBA program locally.

2) Secure a permanent position with HSBC.

3) Develop my leadership qualities in all aspects (Personal, Career and Relationship)

4) Lose 5 kg by year end.

5) Acheive a 5 figure saving target by year end.

6) Design and develop a portal for my dad's company.

7) Be more accountable, teacheable and mouldable.

8) Be more transparent.

9) Start a polo-tee retail business.

10) Love and give more to my family and friends.

By writing my goals down, it's to remind myself of what I need to finish up by end 2007.

Last but not least, thank you for reading my blog entry and do tag if you would like to leave a note. (ps: its the 3rd button on your left.)

Thanks!

God bless!

Joshua Harris

2007-05-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

Been reading 2 books concurrently by Joshua Harris and I am really blessed by it. Knowing that I am not a avid reader of all books, being able to say that a book is good really meant a lot.

One thing that I've learnt from his books is that I am not alone facing all the questions about relationships in my life. His 'boy next door' approach towards the various issues asked by so many young adults regarding relationships made me see and view relationships do's and don'ts in a very different light. He made me realised through his books that relationships aren't a set of Do's and Don'ts and let alone a set of formulae waiting to be acted upon.

Ok, so the big question is what is a godly relationship then?

A godly relationship is one that is borne out of patience and waiting upon the master chef; God to serve up the dishes one at a time. In other words, a relationship should go through the various stages (accuinqtance, friendship, close friendship, relationship) before arriving at the last stop. Even so, by following the above steps, it doesn't mean that you will have a fool proof relationship. However, it does help to guide the couple along in a more defined manner. On hindsight, the dots always seems to connect. In my case, as I looked back pondering on why certain things didn't work out in the past, everything seems to joined up to what the books are talking about.

Yes I am still waiting. However, unlike the past where I am just waiting, now while I am waiting, I am keeping myself busy too! Been involved in small projects lately and initiated a new idea for my cg! Haha..yea just keeping myself busy till ahem ahem...the big day!

Anyway, been really blessed by reading the books! So you should go and grab one!

Ok, got to go back and work liao..choir pract tonight!

Addiction and Emptiness

2007-04-29T14:13:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching Protege and this film impacted and convicted me of many things.

Essentially, the film is about the drug trade and its manifestations on the drug dealer, his family as well as victims. Throughout the film, the vivid scenes of drug addicts feeding their addiction daily are truly disgusting and I found myself cringing at parts of the scenes. Towards the end of the film, one sentence that Daniel Wu (who acted as the protege) asked was

Which is more dangerous? The emptiness inside the addict or the addiction itself?

It's so true I realised. Even when I looked and examine my own life for a moment just now, I realised that in the past the emptiness in my life that I tried so hard to fill, had in turn caused so much anguish and heartache for myself and the people around me. Of course, being in the midst of all, I always felt that no one understood how I felt or what I am going through at times. And Yes you guess it; I went into the self pity mode automatically.

However, with each passing day of the past 5 years of my life, I found my life being more fruitful and meaningful. The experience I earned is different from volunteering yourself to help old folks at a home or to visit poor families. Of course, all those are good and should be encouraged but at the end of the day, there is a void in our hearts that only God can fill.

After all, we are 2/3 spirit and 1/3 flesh isn't it? Thus, its normal to feel empty when I am not walking close and experiencing enough of His presence.

In other words, if we can fill the emptiness in our lives with His presence and peace, then any addiction that we have can be cast away!

I love what Pst Robb said last night:

Know a man not by his words, but by his life. Let a person's life be the message you read aloud.

Immense Choir Practice

2007-04-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

Immense Choir Practice Today!

I attended choir practice and its been a long time since we did what we did today. Just simply soak and enjoy the presence of God! And I did one thing for the first time! Guess what? I was asked to help out to do sound check on the keyboards! Haha...quite stunned when I was asked to go and play the keyboard and since I don't really know how, I just agreed and went to do it..phew..good thing that I didn't play the wrong note..haha! Back to how the practice went, it's really awesome!..we just got lost in worship and kept singing till His presence came and touched every single one of us!

And I wept in His presence again. Just amazed at how His presence never fails to melt and move my heart back to where it is supposed to be. Not only that, I am also refreshed and recharged spirtually and emotionally!

Awesome time! How I wished that everyday I can experienced such tangible presence!

Hope your day has been great too!

Inspiration in the morning.

2007-04-25T08:39:00.000+08:00

When a woman allows you to hug her,

It's an expression of acceptance by faith.

When a woman reciprocrates your affection,

It's an establishment of a love connection.

When she asks "Will you be there for me?"

It's a seeking of an unwavering committed attitude.

When she looks you in the eye and asks "Do you think I am pretty today?"

It's to look beyond the physical beauty and into the depts of her inner character and being.

When she says "I do",

It's the recognition of the man's ability to take care, bless and lead her for the rest of her life.

How do you want to spend the next 50 - 60 years of your life?

Who do you want to spend it with?

Do you have a vision of the future? For if we don't have a vision in all things, we perish.

If you want to settle down, kindly give the above mentioned 3 items a thought today.

The same goes for me.

God bless!

Sunshine after the rain

2007-04-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

Went to bugis this afternoon on bus 80.

As I was enjoying a slow bus ride, I observed the sky and realised that it was pitch dark. Yup and the time then was 3pm. Clearly within half an hour, it rained and thank God I was sheltered at Bugis Junction and thus wasn't drenched.

That downpour of rain reminded me of how God blessings work in the same manner too. More often than not, the times before we recieve a blessing is always characterised by trials, tribulations, moments of darkness and uncertainty isn't it? However, as we continue to believe and recieve in faith, and then the blessings will follow!. As I go through this period of testing and waiting, my entire belief system is often stretched to the max. Thoughts of quitting just streamed in almost daily!

But I believe that after the dark clouds have gathered, the rain shall fall and blessings shall come!

Take care peeps!

My rantings...part 2

2007-04-20T15:49:00.000+08:00

Who can understand how I really feel now?
From the inner depths of my heart and soul.
A longing that I want to quench,
But its like a fire that cannot be put out.
Its rages on but consumes part of my heart bit by bit.
I know I am waiting for a cause, a word, a person.
Maybe this is the so called training ground that people say.
Yea, maybe I am just shallow. Unfocused. Stupid.
So many times I have to be strong for the people around me.
Used to be her.
Then became the students I taught.
But who was there for me?
Who heard my cries and shouts in the silence of the night?
Who saw my tears I shed on stage?
Who collected the drips and drops of tears I shed?
Only You understand Jesus.
How it feels to be alone.
I am surviving and prospering; only because You are in my life.
Thank You for being with me.
Thank You for seeing the potential in me.
Thank You for using a base vessel to glorify Your name.
Thank You Jesus.

Love Tank

2007-04-20T13:43:00.000+08:00

Think my love tank is empty.

Long time ago...explains why I am feeling down the past few days..

The weekends are here and it's going to be worst. :)

Don't know why am I am waiting and what am I waiting for?

Will all these be worth it?

Whenever I see couples on the street, the longing just cries out even louder.

And all I said in reply was "Shut up".

2 paths in front of me. Which one to choose?

The path I choose will determine our destiny.

Someone, help me out here.

Getting Married

2007-04-19T10:13:00.000+08:00

I want to get married. Erm next year?

At either Fullerton Hotel or Conrad. For Fullerton Hotel, I like the old structural design of the building but I dislike the Singapore River View. As for Conrad, I love the long driveway and spiral staircases! I haven't really have time to go to the different hotels to find out about the wedding packages but just based on location and ambience, I would love Fullerton or Conrad. :)

If I had a partner now, I would communicate this to her but sadly not yet. Well thats what a blog is for..for me to rant about things I have no one to tell to. :)

Am 25 this year and time really flies past! Am intending to give myself 3 years to get established and stablised in my career so as to lay the platform for the next 5-10 years of my life. Am I giving myself too much pressure? Maybe? But its better than no pressure. :)

Looking back when I was 23, I didn't really had a lot then as I was in NS. Got to make do with $450 monthly and scrimp and save so that I could buy anniversary presents, make cards, roses, tulips!..life was happy back then. It really makes a lot of difference when you have someone to share your thoughts then. Right now, I would love to have that special someone to share my thoughts with and vice versa.

One friend once told me that my emotional weakness could be the limp that I got to live for the rest of my life but I believe that with each passing day, I would be stronger and stronger!

So many things I would want to have right now (in random thought order):

1) Car (Jazz / Swift / Lancer)

2) Platinum Credit Card

3) New Pair of Sneakers (Nike? Adidas? Puma?)

4) Beautiful Skin (Flawless and Tanned)

5) Lean Waist Line (30?)

6) Relationship with her

Was thinking would SOT be reduced to 2 months? heh..maybe would think bout going then..between my transition from one job to another..haha...not being critical but sometimes the decision to sacrifice 4 months of your life must really be backed up by a calling from above. So that when the going gets tough, you stay put.

Want to go abroad...just my random thoughts..

Benny Hinn Weekend (14-15 Apr)

2007-04-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

a new week has begun and looking back on what has happened the past 2 days; I could only have one word to describe it; "Phenomenal". From the start to the end of the 3 services, God just showed up like never before, in His presence and His annoiting that came upon almost everyone present; both on stage and on the floor area. What was truly amazing was that 1000 different individuals from all walks of life could come together and produce a stunning performance and rendition of famous hymns like "Let God Arise". Having come from a contemporary worship background ever since day 1 of my walk with God, I was initially uncomfortable with the mode of music that we have to learn and master but I soon realised that the annoiting and presence REALLY doesn't come from the type of music, location of worship and even the preacher himself.

The annointing comes from an attitude of faith and belief from the congregation.

Having served in the 2 of 3 services on Saturday and Sunday, I have certaintly been brought on to a whole new platform of my walk with God; being strengthened in faith and truth!. Of course, there will still be detractors who say that all this are staged and so on, but at the end of the day, I always believe that we are responsible for the talents and gifts that were placed in us. And so long as we do our best to cultivate those gifts and talents, does anything else matter?

I want to thank God for making the following possible:

1) Being able to serve and sing for the choir

2) Healing the sick of all illnesses.

3) Unleashing waves upon waves of annoiting and presence of everyone of us

4) Blessing me with an awesome pastor like Pastor Kong

5) Sending a confirmation of a prayer that I have been praying for a long time

6) Perserving the voices of the 1000 strong choir

7) Choosing Singapore as the hub of healing in this region!

8) Using various individuals to do great works in all parts of the world

This experience has reminded me once again that its not about individual glory and honour anymore. The more we choose to pursue individual glory, the more we will not obtain it. For the Bible says "let the last be the first and the first be the last.". Every night as I returned home, I returned home humbled by the experience I went through. It was just like suddenly recieving or finding a stream of fresh water after being in a drought for many years!

Amen!

I would like to thank God for the confirmation that He sent to me on Saturday night. What happened was; before the start of the service, I was quietly praying to Him and I put forward my request; that if she is truly the one, then give me a sign or confirmation. I could clearly remember my request there and then. Indeed God is awesome and faithful!. Towards the middle of the service as Pastor was preaching, I spotted her! Not that I was intentionally looking out for her, but to spot someone from 11,000 people is by no means what I can do if it wasn't for His guidance in the spirit.

There and then, images of my future flashed across my mind and He told me this:

"From now on, everything that is going to happen in your life will happen by faith"

"Adopt an attitude of faith, Glenn."

Tears started to stream down my face and as I worshipped I know that not only my prayers are answered, I know that only by faith; that this relationship would be possible. Why? Because nothing is certain in the natural physical realm. My tears were hot and as they streamed down, I couldn't help but to worship Him even more and linger in His presence.

I must learn to focus; not on my problems and needs but on Him.

Today if you are praying for a need in your life, why not lets adopt an attitude of faith towards all things; big or small; impossible or possible to believe that God can one day answer your prayers in a manner fitting of His glory and power!

May God bless you all!

A short note...

2007-04-13T13:46:00.000+08:00

Is it right to miss a person?

In the right context I suppose. Right now right here, am missing her so much.

Its amazing what a simple lunch can do to my emotions.

However, I am not trusting my emotions 100% because it failed me so many times.

I choose to trust in the unwavering and always faithful God.

When will I see you again?
I miss your company and presence.

Sinking deeper into the unknown...

Many Firsts

2007-04-11T08:55:00.000+08:00

Morning guys,

Yesterday had been simply awesome!. First of all, the issue that I mentioned that I faced with a difficult client is solved! Really want to thank Him for His grace, wisdom and favour of man that was upon me! After discussing with my bosses, and having learnt how they are going to manage the client really had the huge rock inside of me being cast into the sea!. Haha...surely God is always good!

Secondly, did another first of my life yesterday. Went to catch "Meet the Robinsons" with my brother and sister at Plaza Singapura and although on the surface, the movie seems simple and kiddish, the underlying meaning of how failure should not be despised and how a rejected person can eventually find acceptance speaks so much of the common grace theme in the movie. I cant' help but to wonder if the movie was conceptualised and produced by Christians producers and directors? Haha..you should go watch it if you can because its quite meaningful! :)

Have a blessed day ahead!

Signing out --->

Indescribable Feelings.

2007-04-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

Indescribable Feelings.

Yup this is how I am feeling right now. How I wished I have someone to talk to now. How I wished someone would say something to encourage me now. But as compared to this morning, I am feeling slightly better nw, because I spoke to God just now. Not that I want to sound flaky or anything, but after I read an email at work, I immediately went to the Gents and prayed for the situation to be resolved peacefully. Truly and indeed, God is in charge of this situation and He will do His part and in the name of Jesus, all things will be resolved!.

Of course, in my natural being and state, I am fearful of what is going or might happen over the course of the next few days but in my spirit, I know and am fully convicted of His overpowering greatness that will settle and overcome this very situation of mine right now.

Thank God for His peace.

Thank God for His grace.

Thank God that He lives in me.

Been really blessed emotionally recently or so and let me express it using a short poem:

Sometimes you never know who is around the corner,

To make your day by tinting your cornea.

Most people come and go,

But only one will stay with you.

Right now and here, I really do not know if you are the one,

But only to keep praying for my answer from the One.

I really enjoyed every bit of company we had,

Even if its the few hours we had.

You make me realise that my heart is beating once again,

Not just for myself

But for you too.

As a Christian, the only difference we have over the people in the world as we go through difficult times is that we have the saving knowledge of Christ in our hearts and therefore, come what may, I would always think of the worst possible situation that might happen and then tell myself, "My God is bigger than that."

So come what may, the devil can come to steal, kill and destroy but my God is one who will restore and resurrect!

I love you God.

Easter 07 Day 1

2007-04-06T19:57:00.000+08:00

Just sung for the first service of Easter today.

Had a great time hanging out with the brothers before our duty, having food at the nearby hall 7. Haha...we spotted a few nonsensical signboards which I will post online once I have the time to download the pics. Haha!

Been feeling breathless the past 2 days. This was because of the phelgm that was stuck in my lungs after my flu subsisded. Feel so weak after walking for a while as I will be panting for my breath. But I know that God will heal me in time for my sunday duties! :)

Enjoy the long weekend ahead people! :)

God bless!

Today..my 190th post

2007-04-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

Today has been a slow one. Been resting at home and recovering from a bad bout of flu that gave me body aches and running noses. :(

But in any case, feeling much better nw. So returning to work tommorow for 1 more day and its the end of the week again. Ha! Due to the Good Friday hols.

Been pondering on this phase "my life could be the only bible that people read" and thus was being motivated to perform a self evaluation of my performance at work and if I had shone for God through and through. My result?

Could have done better.

There are many things that I have missed out or forgot or could have done better at work and it all boils down to me not being professional enough. I guess this is the only thing that I would need to focus on and improve on because at the end of the day, my life could be the only bible that people read. Many a times, I will compare myself to my peers who are currently working and see if I am doing as well as they are. Of course not to compete against one another, but to check ourselves against others will also make us see the areas in our lives that we are lacking and underperforming.

In another 5 months time, my contract would end. Although I trust God will provide for me in time to come, but it doesn't mean that I can just sit around and do nothing to improve my performance. If I am running on 80% efficiency, I need to up to at least 90% in the last 5 months of my stint in PCM. So that at the end of the day when I leave, I know that I have done my best to the best of my ability.

The worst feeling is that when you know you have the potential to do much more, but yet you are not doing it.

On a personal front, everything is going well. Had a chat with my mom and I am so blessed to be able to share with her some of the basic concepts of Christianity and how my life had changed ever since I began my walk with Him 7 years ago. Sometimes, its not how much we can do or how well we do it but its about the very intention that we do something. Just like when I decided to sit down and share with my mom, I was determined not to allow other things on my mind or agenda to distract me from sharing effectively with her and by and by as time passes, it was soon 1 hour plus!. Truly His promises are Yes and Amen!

Lastly before I end, just want to share a phase which I felt that its very meaningful:

God starts to move when you reached the end of yourself.

Mixed Feelings...

2007-04-02T09:56:00.000+08:00

A blink of an eye and the weekends are over. Back to work. A short week ahead because of the Good Friday hols but so much more to cover at work. Despite of uncertanties that I am facing, I know that my words frame my future and thus shape my week ahead and in the long run, my entire life. Thus, I am determined to SPEAK positively into every aspect of my life!

Do you realised that you don't need to learn how to be negative or even try to be negative? We are all born to be negative naturally! Thus, its important that we always keep and maintain a positive mindset about everything that is happening around us including those things that we wished we had but we don't have at this current moment. Many things are fighting for our attention every single day but the important thing is which one do we give our attention to? Because that will be the one thing that will shape your attitude, beliefs and ultimately convictions.

I shared in my earlier posts on how 2007 is going to be the best year yet and last week; God has lifted another veil on how 2007 is going to be the best year yet. As I moved into a new chapter of my walk with Him, I know that though its going to be challenging, but yet new things are going to be accomplised and new fruits are going to be borne forth. :) Also had dinner with Jus after practice the other day and its been a long time since we last caught up and everytime we share, it seems like there is no end to what we can share or want to share. Shared with him the desires of my heart and he shared his too.

Insecurity is not a norm. Feeling insecure is a deficiency. And the worst manifestation of insecurity appears when you impose it on a loved one; be it a friend, partner or family member. Do I feel insecure at times? Yes. Do I feel that I am out of the pack at times? Yes. But I realised that we have to reach a stage of our lives that we stop asking questions on why and how people treat us or look at us in a certain manner and start doing something about it. For me personally, it's about getting out of the state of self pity at times and take a look around to realise how fortunate I am as compared to my peers or people around me.

Life cannot never be perfect. I used to think that maybe when something I desire happens, then life would be perfect but at the same time, problems will never end and with each passing year, the problems you faced increase in difficulty and complexity right?

Thus what is important is that we do and live each day to the best of our ability; knowing that we have given our best.

Today is April 2, and officially we have passed the 3 month mark of the year. What do I expect to see in the next few months of the year? What are my goals and targets that I've yet to fulfil thus far. Below is a list of them(not in order of priority):

1) Be able to save a steady amount every month to meet my pre-determined target by end 2007.

2) Be able to love and care for every person that I know.

3) To enter into a relationship and life long convenant with (...)

4) To secure a permanent position within the organisation.

5) To see my family members giving their hearts to Christ.

6) To be more patient and less critical of others.

7) To purchase a small car.

8) Equate my personal life to my public life totally.

9) To be fitter and leaner by losing 2-3 kg of my weight.

10) To have flawless skin.

11) To rise up as a choir helper.

Lastly, I just want to say: Talk is cheap but only action in the right times is priceless.

God bless all.

Glenn.

My Musings

2007-03-30T16:18:00.000+08:00

New skin. Just felt that i needed to update my blog skin once in a while and something that allows people to read in ease. :)

How have you been? Hope your week had been great; at least you have percieved it to be great. Yea, daily situations might not have been good but ultimately its how we view the situations that matters. Because in the manner we view the situation(s), this is how we are going to resolve it.

Am on leave today and finally had a chance to go back to the sec sch i used to teach for 2 yrs to visit the students and teachers. Got to say that i was a little apprehensive about returning at first because I have been away for so long and there is a uncertainty in my mind of whether I should return or not. But nonetheless, I went back. I just want to say that the only thing I missed the most are my students. Not the teachers, the food, the building, the alleys but my students!. As I walked past their classrooms earlier, some of them spotted me and shouted from the classroom "MR GLENN!..."..haha..immediately I just feel that love and appreciation coming out from a group of teenagers. Yes they may be young, but they do know how to appreciate people around them. I don't know how to use words to describe the feeling but it just melts my heart there and then. Yes I am sentimental. However as they were having lessons, couldn't interrupt; so I just made a brief appearance along the corridors.

I miss all of you guys so much!..look forward to see you again in july!

Went to watch a movie titled 'Freedom Writers' earlier and I got to say that it is such an underated movie; meaning its awesome! Although there isn't any movie stars in it but as it is based on a true account, it shows how a teacher can pour out her own life to make the lives of her students better simply by:

ENGAGING THE STUDENTS TO CHANGE THEIR LIVES.

I really encourage you to watch the show because there are so many lessons to be learnt from the story itself!.

Lastly, just want to end off by saying that life has many bends and turns, ups and downs but ultimately the only support and pillar of strength that we rely on is God and through His strength, we can then be a source of strength to our loved ones and friends.

Take care and God bless! :)

Love is...

2007-03-26T17:07:00.000+08:00

If you ever drive at night and listen to Class 95, you would know that they will periodically play snippets of love definitions..inspired by that, I shall come up with a list of those definitions here..yup and whenever I listen to them, it brings back memories..nice ones.. :)

Love is giving all that you have to the person.

Love is being uncomfortable whenever you sacrifice for the person.

Love is not just knowing what to do, but how best to do it.

Love is praying for her and with her.

Love is leading her in her life.

Love is serving the other person and meeting her needs.

Love is the reason why a relationship starts.

Love is the reason why a relationship should continue even through bad times.

Love is being able to look at her and say "You are beautiful" even she doesn't have any makeup on.

Love is making decisions together.

Love is Commitment.

Love is joy.

Love carries no burden.

Love carries no sorrow.

Love is getting a hug from her after a long day at work.

Love is waking up early to brew coffee and make breakfast for her.

Love is caring for all the people she cares and loves.

Love is sacrifice.

Love is inseperable.

Love is fun.

Love is joyful.

Love is whispering sweet nothings to her.

Love is not lust.

Love is the coloured lens that will make you look at her when she is 80 and still say "Wow".

Love is not the answer to all problems; but rather a strengthening feeling.

Love binds what hate divides.

Love longs to give, even when nothing is given back.

Love is kind.

Love is being able to enjoy every moment when you are together.

Love is accepting your in laws and all other 'laws' that comes with it.

Lastly,

Love comes from God.

God is Love.

With love, this blog started.

Without love, this blog continued.

Through it all, He saw me through.

But I know, there are greater things to come.

Whether you are in love or out of love,

enjoy every moment in your life.

Because just like snowflakes,

none are identical to each other.

Thank you Jesus. I love you, her and every friend closest to me.

I dream...

2007-03-19T17:35:00.000+08:00

Last weekend services was truly awesome and nothing else couldn't compare to what I experienced.

I went, served amid with a sense of fulfilling my duty but He never failed to understand what I am going through in my life even when everything else seems peaceful on the surface. And I teared whilst worship on Sunday. Many a times, my heart just seems to be hardened after working 5 days in a professional world where everybody seems so self sufficient. Thus, by the time I reach Friday, I would be exhausted. But I am determined to change all this. Because I believe that I can walk closer to Him daily and even though I will still fall at times, at least I know I tried.

The tragedy is there are people who live through life not knowing what they need to change.

I have learnt overtime that change doesn't effect overnight and thus certaintly not by just writing a blog entry on how I have experienced His blessings will mean anything significant.

Until people can see a change in me. Then I would consider that as progress.

Many things I want to blog. Many things I have opinions about. But only a few I will choose to elaborate because I need to prioritise. So for things that I have no control over, I will try not to blog and write about it. Because what can I do about it? If that is the decision that a person has chose, then to put it simply, the person would need to see to the end that that decision is a right one.

Pst Phil shared a verse in 2Kings about the Shumanite woman whose son died while in the field and what really impressed upon me was the level of optimism that she had because she not only confess once but twice positively that her son is alright and will be ok despite the fact that he is already dead and motionless!. Awesome isn't it?! Many times, we allow our situations to dictate how we feel and how we react such that we feel so lousy at the end of the day.

But our speech are the words that program our mind.

Program our minds with Faith, Love and Victories.

I am going to continue trusting in Him even though things aren't really happening now. Because I know He knows best and I know nothing. Yup nothing at all. A simple example; if you were to ask me 1 yr ago if I have considered working in a bank for the rest of my life, I would have given you a straight no but see what I am doing now?..haha..His thoughts are indeed higher than mine!

Thus, based on my past experiences with Him, I know that He will not fail me and on top of that, I know that He has the best reserved for me. Of course, to get the best, I must first be at my best. In every aspect of my life.

Saw a glimpse of my blessing last saturday and of course I am very excited of what is going to happen!.

Indeed, when you choose to put His house above yours, He will give your desires 1st priority.

Why settle for less?

Weekends!

2007-03-17T12:28:00.000+08:00

Boy, did I have a hectic week! This week has been a little trying because had to handle 2 difficult customers and was even 'lectured' over the phone. Of course, my flesh threatened to rule the situation but thank God for His peace that quickly calmed me down and I managed to diffuse the situation quickly and amiciably.

Since the weekends are here, let me list down a list of things I want to do today and tommorow:

- Go for a swim of 30 laps

- Get a beautiful suntan

- Go for a 3km jog

- Meet up with a friend

- Enjoy some personal time at home

- Play Xbox 360!

Yea, I miss gg out on dates and whispering sweet nothings to the person. But then again, I have another 50-60 yrs to do that..so no rush la..hahaha..

Take care and have fun guys!

Voicing my frustrations...

2007-03-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, I read an article on a 24yr old lady who earns $20k per month expressing her desire to rejoin the civil service.

My first reaction was "What am I doing with my life?"

If you think $2000 - $3000 per month is good, wait until you have fully digested the fact that there are people earning $20k per month!

My second reaction was "I must then increase my capability 10 times or more so as to earn that amount of money every month."

Seriously, I am not a least bit contented or satisfied with what I am doing now.

I am happy that I am doing well, performing up to expectations, handling every client with excellence.

But I know that there is so much more potential to earn more, do more, bless more and give more to the people around me. And I want to reach that level! Of course, talk alone is cheap. Anyone can talk about his/her ambitions, aspirations but wait till you acheive it, then you have a case to make and a speech to share.

The only way I see myself moving forward is to go into IB (Investment Banking) and that is not going to happen overnight as well. I need to plan, strategise my career moves to manouevere into the desired position that would at least put me on par with the highest income earners of my generation. ie the class of 82.

Can I do it? Of course. Will I be intimidated by the challenges that come along the way? Definetely. But I also know that He is with me; always and forever.

The bottomline is; if you are content with 2.5k a month, then there is probably where you are going to stay. However having said that, we must still remain faithful in the little things that we are doing because without doing the little things well, how can we expect to be paid $20k per month when we can't handle the workload that is paying us our current pay?

I need to increase my capacity to handle more.

I need to be an excellent worker.

I need to be an excellent listener; to find out what my client actually desires.

I need to up my EQ level.

I need to be promoted soon.

I need to convince myself that comfort equates to being stagnant.

I need to be constantly uncomfortable with my work.

In the midst of pushing myself in my career, I need to have a partner to share my innermost thoughts with.

And I am making progress.

Pray for me. Thanks.

Detox

2007-03-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

Began my first day of detox today.

And naturally I didn't feel well because to suddenly abstain from something that I have been doing the past few weeks didn't go down well with my flesh; naturally. However, by taking a step back allows me to have a clearer perspective of things in my life especially certain areas. Although its painful and sometimes I just feel like giving up but in view of the long run and the bigger picture, I guess this is the right thing to do.

Why am I so certain? Because I told myself that if I want a different result, everything has to be done differently and with a different attitude. I want to see a different end result and outcome at the end of the day. This is beyond just identifying an opportunity and taking it but really, its about the aftermath of making that decision.

I need more wisdom and understanding friends.

How is that decision going to impact my life, my friends and eventually my walk with Him? I really don't know the eventual impact but I am trying my best to steer clear of grey areas because it's only when you are in the light that you are able to see your shadow and in a way see things clearer.

Light dispels darkness

Light casts shadows

Light defines sharp shadows

The stronger the light, the sharper the shadow.

I want to see His hand moving in my life and ultimately His provision coming to past. I am still waiting my friends and at times I can't help but to wonder what exactly am I waiting for? However, one thing I am clear is that I want to stand in the light.

In the past, I would have avoided the light at all costs; preferring to dwell in the grey undefined areas of my life; in short my comfort zone. But often I realise that the longer you dwell in the grey areas of your life, the blurrer your vision will get and soon you will lose your direction.

Clearly in my spirit now, I can continually sense that this is going to be the best year yet and already I am seeing things happening and forming in all aspects of my personal life. Revival is the word I will use to describe what I am feeling now.

Truly, time can heal all wounds but its only by His blood that can resurrect a dead man.

I have been praying for many things in my life and already doors are opening everywhere. I believe that as I remain faithful to Him and build His house, truly nothing will be impossible!

I want to make an impact!

I would like to think that I have found the perfect job or perfect partner but I believe that the most important thing to do is to wait for Him to show His will. Honestly speaking, if I had a choice, I would want to have the answers now but I can't. Because it's not up to me to control.

I can only ask and seek.

I can only plant and water.

I can only wait and wait further.

But I am glad that I only have 1 source to run to.

In due time and season, I will see all things coming to past for me.

I am expecting.

I am still waiting for You.

Random Thoughts

2007-03-13T12:47:00.000+08:00

Don't have a particular topic in mind to blog but since I have some time, might as well use it to update my blog entries...

Its been 1 yr and 5 mths of bachelorhood and after evaluating myself recently, I have reached a conclusion that I am starting to feel at ease with the detachment and doing things myself; although I got to say that I took a pretty long time to do that. Most of the times, when we advise people on certain issues, its very difficult for the other party to convince, let alone convict the person of what to do and what not to do if he/she has not been through a similar experience before. On that note, I am blessed to be surrounded by close friends whom are able to relate to me back then when I was in a mess. :)

To those who stood by and believed in me, thank you for your never wavering trust and conviction that I would one day be able to stand up again.

Fast forward to the present day, I have been pondering on a thought and that is how can we be sure whether is it Him who is providing when the provision that we have been asking for has finally arrived. Many a times, we rely on the peace in our hearts to guide us to make the right decisions and for me, its been pretty correct thus far. :) But what if we have a situation where there are 2 sources of provision but both gives you the same kind of peace? Till now, I am still troubled by this but I believe that He will still come true for me because:

His promises are Yes and Amen.

Other than that, its been pretty good for me at work and life in general..haha..moving along, I just want to say that I am glad and contented that I have left the past behind and begun a new journey with Him in my life.

As long as I continue to abide, I believe all things will turn out well in its time.

And 2007 would be the best year yet.

20 more posts...

2007-03-09T09:32:00.000+08:00

Juz did a check and realised that I am only 20 posts away from my 200th mark!

A blog that was started to compliment another soon evolved into one that allowed me to share my thoughts and air my views on certain issues in the months that followed after that day.

I cannot think of anymore ways to emphasize how blessed I am and how God has been working in my life; according to His timing. :)

Yesterday afternoon as I was working, was being called up to another department suddenly for an informal interview by the dept head. I totally didn't expect it, although I did thought of joining that department because it will allow me to further expand on my job experience in client management.

Indeed His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. :)

Went for cg last night and was very blessed by the message 'The Threshing Floor'. The main thing that I took note was that whenever I am going through such an experience, we should bite the bullet and never give up on Him because thought the experience is painful at times, in His time all things will be made beautiful.

The only reason why He wants us to change is because He cares and loves us so much that He doesn't want us to remain the same.

I have to remain faithful in the little things that I am doing.

Its not an option. Its mandatory.

Husband - Wife. What is the relation?

2007-03-08T13:35:00.000+08:00

Husband - Wife. What is the relation?

A few days ago, a thought just passed through my mind as I was walking home. And upon pondering on it, I found that its so true and thus decided to share it here with you today.

Firstly, it's important to be emotional secure. Not just on a personal basis but it also includes on co-relating to others at work, at home and our personal social life. One of the things that I derived after pondering upon the thought was that if our personal emotions are the little that God has placed in our hands, then shouldn't we be faithful in dealing and managing with this little portion while waiting for much more to be placed into our hands and hence our management? Many times, we failed to realise this and we always thought that we need to have a partner to fill us with love, care and concern and while that is true to a certain extent, how can we expect more from Him while we cannot handle the little we have in our hands?

Using an analogy of working in a company, you cannot go to your boss and ask him for a promotion or an increase in workload when you are proving to be incapable of handling the current load that you have right?

As much its true in the natural, its true in the spirtual realm too.

Upon realising this a few months back, I was freed up personally because I finally understood what it meant by being independant emotionally without building walls or shutting down. Being able to relate to your loved ones, your friends, your leaders and superiors is one of the greatest intangible gifts that a person can have.

So what am I going to do going forward?

Simple. To be faithful in dealing with the little and expect Him to bless me with much more in the right season and timing.

Financially
Spiritually
Relationally
Physically

I still believe that 2007 is going to be the best year yet because of the many breakthroughs that will come to past.

With each passing day/week/month, my life is always changing for the better, moving upwards towards a better quality of life and relationships. Ultimately, when I look back 3 yrs later, I want to be able to be thankful towards His goodness and testify of His transformation power in my life.

Indeed His promises are Yes and Amen.

My prayers shall come to past.

Dinner with the Swedes

2007-03-04T03:06:00.000+08:00

Hey friends,

went for dinner tonight after service with a couple of new found friends from Sweden!. They are actually young peeps who are working as missionaries in thailand but are in singapore to renew their visas before going back to thailand again.

I learnt so much about Sweden and at the same time, revised my knowledge of singapore history when was bombarded with so many questions from the curious swedes about the local culture, food, people etc etc. They are so fun to hang out with! :)

I really admire their ambition and their willingness to obey God to go for missions and most of them are younger than myself!. To live in a foreign land with no fixed salary really draws a lot out from a person's faith but i guess this is really being able to fully trust God that He is your provider and He is your refuge in times of need. :)

Will post up the photos soon when I get them. :)

Take care and have a nice sunday ahead!

Ideal Lifestyle

2007-03-02T15:12:00.000+08:00

I want to...

Go for romantic dinners and beach strolls with her.

Go for a spin with her.

Sit down and plan our future goals and life together.

Go home-hunting with her.

Meet up with the interior designers and discuss our home decoration with her.

Go shopping with her.

Help her carry her many bags of clothes, accessories, food and many more.

Be there for her when she is down.

Give her a hug when she is sad.

Lend her my shoulder to cry on.

Give her undivided attention.

Love her.

Care for her.

Pray together with her.

Intercede together with her.

Be the anchor that she needs in her life (besides Jesus).

I kissed dating goodbye.

2007-03-01T14:03:00.000+08:00

Happy is the word to describe how I feel now.

Although something is delayed, but still I am happy.

Because I not only know but understand why it is delayed.

I am also happy because she has found the perfect guy that she has been looking for.

Indeed, she waited and she found.

Moving on, I will also wait and I believe I will find her.

Rather surprised to recieve a sms the other day from a person.

To me, its some sort of a resurrection of something previously I thought it's dead and done with.

I am hoping for the best.

And the only way for the best to happen is to have the best approach towards it.

Truly, it will be a dream come true.

Something happen for a reason

2007-02-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Hey there,

Hows your day been? Hope it's been all good going for you this week. Since I have a little time now before my meeting at 5pm, just thought that I share a little of what I have been thinking in the past few days as well as what has happened.

For a start, the prayer meeting last night was smashing! If you missed it, then I would say that you really missed out BIG TIME on the presence of God. As soon as the praise and worship started, His presence was sooo tangible that you would almost feel 'soaked' in His presence literally! For me personally, I couldn't have asked for a better start to my choir ministry after a 1 mth break.

His presence was not only encouraging but empowering too. :)

During the midst of worship, I felt some verses being impressed upon my spirit and here they are:

- My promises are always Yes and Amen

- Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything that you need will be added unto you

- Be faithful in the little things

- I am and will always be your provider

I teared during the entire worship session and I am a person who seldom tear in public unless:

- I am confiding in a very close friend

- Soaked in the presence of God

God is really good to me. Yes there are times that I doubted His ability to deliver and there are times I feared that He will not come to past for me. But last night was really a confirmation in words and in presence. As I teared in His presence, I am reminded that no matter what happens; for better or for worst, its for a reason and whatever the reason may be, His intention is always good.

What you percieve is what you will feel ultimately. If a person thinks that God is fake and percieves that God is a concept made up by people, then ultimately he/she will not believe in the existence of the Creator.

Live in the real world and in reality to taste the goodness of God.

One of the verses that really left a lasting impression on me is "His promises are always Yes and Amen." I truly believe that as I stand upon His promises; 2007 is truly going to be the best year yet!. Although people will still fail me from time to time, but ultimately I am determined to make it the best month and year yet!

Solemnisation Ceremony

2007-02-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

Just a short update.

Am really looking forward to my friend's solemnisation ceremony tonight at a chalet!. Time really flies and I could still recall the time when she approached me to do the cover design for her sec school's annual yearbook. Haha..wow amazing man..anyway would be really a fun time this evening!

Feb has ended and March is starting. Although I can't predict what is going to happen in the month of March, but I am determined to make it the best month of 07 yet!

Spiritually

Emotionally

Financially

Physically

On a seperate note, I am considering of closing this blog and starting a new one because this is really a very public forum. If in the case that I decide to do that , I will sms those whom I am comfortable to release my new blog address to. :)

What is love?

2007-02-23T13:29:00.000+08:00

Just read off one of my friend's blog a very accurate definition of love.

"People fall in love when they are ready to change or start a new life."

I will be patient and would like to start a new chapter of my life soon.

Take care.

Lessons learnt (22 Feb)

2007-02-22T12:48:00.000+08:00

Heya friends..

hope you are easing well into your 'back to work' routine..haha..for me personally, everything had been going well except for one that is the previous job offer was already taken up by an internal candidate..but still I want to thank God for answering my prayers of showing a sign on whether i should move or stay on.

So quite simply: He told me to stay put.

Without a doubt, I was a little shaken by the sudden job offer about 1 month ago and have since pondered seriously about moving. However, I was constantly reminded by there is a time & season for everything in my life so I kept praying for His peace to fill my heart and for Him to show me the way.

And He did. Praise God!

Hmm..with another 6 more months to go, I will continue to excel in my work here and shine for Him in every way possible. At the same time, I will continue to keep my eyes open for other opportunities. :)

Without a doubt, I will continue to believe Him for a promotion this year in all aspects of my life!

A Story of Boy Meet Girl

2007-02-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

A tale of 2 individuals bounded together by a common destiny; In Christ.

As I start to weave this story together with my words, kindly indulge in the various emotions displayed and the everyday life storyline. Feel free to critque as this is my very 1st time writing a story. Narrative? Descriptive? Factual? Fact or Fiction?

You decide what it will be to you.

Benjamin was a regular local guy who grew up without any aims or goals in life. Looking just like the average guy on the street, he never did quite stood out from the crowd or from his friends. When he was in school, he was never the top student, but instead always fighting not to be the 1st; from bottom that was.

Whenever his parents or his relatives asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always respond in the same manner; a shrug of the shoulder followed by a meek smile.

He was never quite secure emotionally. This could be as a result of his scarred childhood where he was constantly laughed and mocked at by his classmates of being stinky, fat and dirty. He never could find solace in the 'friends' he had because ultimately they will always fail him one way or another.

He found it very hard to trust anyone anymore; let alone telling other people how he actually felt on the inside of him. Failing to confide in anyone made it even more impossible for him to manage expectations that was placed on his not so broad shoulders. Although most of the expectations were not spoken out, he could almost feel the pressure whenever his smarter cousins came visiting during CNY.

Grades were always compared.

Scores were always scrutinised.

Performance was a subject that is always discussed at the dinner table

And he never quite understood the ultimate purpose of going through all this.

Discouraged, he withdrew.

Fast forward many years later, Benjamin found a friend.

A true friend that he can confide in.

A friend that he knows would never let him down.

A friend who gave up His life to save him.

A friend who never gives up on him whenever he falls.

At last, he found the life he wanted. He began to be motivated in everything that he does; or rather he tried to be. He found awesome company in the many friends that he got to know through the first friend he found. He found true love, encouragement, care and concern that he had never found besides his parents.

He found his future filled with hope, love and light.

Relationally, Ben always wanted to find a partner that he could truly love and care for. One came and went. Though he was broken and saddened by that, his friends rallied around him and gave him the support and positive affirmation that he so needed in his life then. He took 6 months to recover from the hurt to be able to truly look straight into his former lover's eyes and ask "Hows your day?".

However, he had never failed to trust in his first friend's words that he will eventually find the right one in the near future. Although throughout the process of time, he got to know many other people and made many mistakes, this very first friend still forgave him and told him that he could start all over again.

He failed and felled.

Once

Twice

Thrice

Benjamin got so discouraged to a point of time when he even thought of giving up the thought of finding that person anymore. "What is the point of getting hurt once again?" He thought to himself sometimes. But there was something inside of him that always told him not to give up.

The voice in Ben was soothing at times.

Warm when the weather was cold.

Stern when Ben wanted to rebel.

Loving when Ben felt alone.

The voice was always there and at times even as Ben cried out alone when he could no longer bear the loneliness, the voice would still calmly tell him "Don't worry." "One day it will come."

Standing on what the voice said; Ben continued to trust and work hard for his job; attended weddings believing that one day he would too do the same with his wife.

In the following months, he prospered in his job and was successful in the eyes of others. Even though he might still feel lonely at times, he is now secure in his emotions because he knows that it is just a matter of time that he will find the right one.

He continued to believe

He continued to trust

He wavered but stood firm

Because he knew and understood that His friend will provide.

Soon after, Ben got to know a colleague at work and though they have just met, they seemed to have endless conversations on life, faith, future plans, family and shared their views on many issues. Time will fly past when they are on the phone and before they knew it, it would always be time to say goodbye again.

Ben thought to himself.

"Is she the one?"

He wanted to be excited but yet past experiences warned him against it.

He wanted to acclerate but wisdom guided him to slow down.

He then realised one thing.

He had matured. The past experiences had helped to shape the Benjamin of today.

He needed to wait for Him to tell and confirm if she is the one.

And till today, Benjamin is still waiting.

Points to be taken away

Sometimes we don't understand why we are going through so much hurt and discouragement at certain points of our lives, but it all serves a greater purpose; which is to shape our destiny that was written by our Abba Father.

The most important is when we go through times of trials, hurt, discouragement and hatred, we have to keep on believing that things will turn for the better and ultimately be resolved.

We are all on a train that is heading towards one destination; the future.

However, as we head towards the destination, let us not forget on learning the lessons on this everyday journey that we take.

Simply because, it is through these lessons that we learn life. and the beauty of being able to live it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this story.

Boy meets God; Boy meets Girl.

A tale of 2 individuals; bounded together by a common destiny in Christ.

Song Writing

2007-02-19T17:35:00.000+08:00

Found

Here I am, found in Your presence

To worship you in everything I do

You are my Lord

My Saviour

And my all

Here I am, found by You.

Here I am, dwelling in Your presence

To be refreshed so that I can make a difference

To shine for You in all the world

You are my Source

Of everlasting love.

I walk with You

Through the valleys and mountains

I rise with You

To soar above stormy seas

You are my Source

Of everlasting strength

You are my Lord

My Abba Father Lord.